Nerve
by loonylover1331
Summary: Jess and Leslie's friendship has never been stronger, but when a tragedy occurs that leaves Jess diffrent from everyone else, how will they deal with it? And what is Leslie hiding from Jess? LDD JxL. Rated for mature content.
1. Horrible Truthes

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Jesse Aarons laid on his back in the field between his house and Terabithia, gazing up at the sky. All seemed to be calm as if nothing bad could happen. He couldn't remember ever being this happy in a long time. Not at home for sure, all his sisters hated him except Maybelle, he was pretty sure his mother loved him, but was just to busy to show it. Jess found out a long time ago that his father hated his guts.

School wasn't much better either. First there was his father screaming at him about grades, then there was his sisters constantly spreading rumors about him, then there was the teachers bitching whenever they caught him scribbling in class. And, of course Scott Hoagar and Gary Fulcher, two bullies who in Jess's personal opinion should go stick a knife in an electrical outlet and see what happens.

But, there was her.

Leslie Burke. Even, her name sounded beautiful, Leslie was probably the only person besides jesses mother and little sisters he loved and he wasn't sure if it was family love best friend love or that_ other_ kind of love.

Jess looked at her, laying beside him she was smiling with her eyes closed. One could assume she was sleeping, but Jess knew she was probably thinking of something clever and wity.

She opened her eyes looked over at him and grinned. "what are you looking at"? she asked with a sly grin "I don't know but whatever it is its beautiful". Jess said the words before he even knew his mouth was moving, and when he did his face went as red as a tomato. Leslies eyes widened in shock and she blushed furiously, she wasn't expecting that.

Jess's breath soon became short there was an uncomfortable silence in which Leslie began to twist her hair nervously. Jess and Leslie first became friends around one year ago when she moved in.

The time Jess spent with her was the best times of his life, she was not only his best friend but his only friend, everyone else thought of him as that crazy little kid who draws the burke girl. It was true partially, his favorite thing to draw was Leslie, but he could never get her form quite right even during the summer between their fifth and sixth grade years.

"Hey" she suddenly piped up "lets go to Terabithia". she didn't even have to ask suddenly they were running Jess loved to run it was his 4th favorite thing in the world; first was Leslie, then there was Terabithia, then there was drawing and fifth? He didn't have a fifth.

The wind blowing through their hair like an ocean breeze, they reached the gateway of their secret world; Terabithia. Terabithia, there secret place no matter what problem they had they could solve it in Terabithia. If there was a problem involving Scott Hoagar or Gary Fulcher they would go to Terabithia and beat up some squogers and hairy vultures. If Jess had a problem with his dad which he frequently did they would go after the dark master which Leslie knew what Jesse perceived his father to be though he would never admit it.

They approached the rope the enchanted entrance to Terabithia. they took turns swinging a crossed it as they often did Leslie would hang her head back and watch the clouds, Jesse often would too but not as much.

"I love that feeling" Leslie said as she touched back down and handed the rope to Jesse. "what feeling" he asked curiously, secretly already knowing, "when you hang your head back, I love it try it" she said eagerly.

"ok" he grinned he took the rope from her and swung. It did feel great he didn't have a care in the world suddenly jess heard a loud THWAP! And everything went black.

Jess heard the steady beeping of a heart monitor as he woke up. He couldn't really see anything it was like he had his eyes closed and was staring at the sun he could see several black figures that he guessed were people.

Someone was sobbing he couldn't tell who he said the first thing that came to mind "Leslie"? There was a ringing silence in which someone placed a gentle warm and on is shoulder "im here jess". Jess heaved a sigh of relief Leslie was ok and that's all that mattered but he would like to know why he couldn't see her.

"Where are you" he asked curiously someone let out a great sob that he recognized as his mother. "Mom" he said slightly nervous why couldn't he see anything? Someone sat on his hospital bed and whoever did began to speak Jess didn't recognize this voice.

"Jesse can you see me" mysterious-owner-of-the-voice asked "no, kinda its like, wait a minute what going on? Why cant I see". Jess didn't understand what was going on? He was starting to get nervous what was happening?

"Jess" mysterious-owner-of-the-voice said gently "im afraid that you had an accident your head received massive trauma and unafraid its rendered you blind" the doctor explained but jess could no longer hear. Blind? No it couldn't be he couldn't be blind he could tell where the doctor was where Leslie was. Leslie. Oh Leslie was she blind too? He wanted to ask these things but his throat seemed to be constricted _cancer of the throat_ he thought absentmindedly.

"Blind"? Jesse gasped "no I cant be, I can still see, IM NOT BLIND!" Jess started to yell. "your suffering from a type of blindness known as Limited-Light-Perception. You can tell light from dark and most likely where people are most of the time if your in a well lit room but. Yes jess you are blind, im sorry". Jess felt a hand grip is it was Leslies.

He was shaking his head he just realized it had bandages on it. Jess felt them, he felt like he was using strangers hands. "No your lying to me, right?" Jess tried to look around the room, he tried to see he waited for someone to say it was all a big joke.

Only nobody spoke up.

(AN: how was that for my firs chapter i tried not too rush it and for the record yes they are in the 6th grade and they've know each other for a year. please read and review as the great god of fan fiction IHateSnakes says it makes us better writers.)


	2. Kissing Distance

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Jesse was numb. That was bout the only way to describe how he felt, he could no longer run, he could no longer draw, why he wouldn't even be able to see Leslies beautiful face. Not now, not ever again.

He couldn't here the doctor explaining about why he can't see. The doctor might be able to explain it in medical terms, but Jesse would never be able to understand why. Why, why did this happen to him? What did he do that was so wrong, why did he have to go blind it wasn't fair he as only 12! It wasn't fair!

Jesse Sr. seemed to sense his sons distress it was pretty obvious really. Here the doctor was, explaining what happened and Jess was just laying there staring up at the ceiling seeing nothing. He looked like a corpse.

Jesse Sr. asked the doctor to step outside for a minute he couldn't take it he had to ask.

"Yes" Doctor Mavien said politely Jesse Sr. sighed "I have to know, is their anything, anything at all you can do?" he was pleading. The doctor sighed "all right Mr. Aarons I'm going to tell you up front your son has suffered major brain damage he lucky not to be in a coma or dead. Any chance of recovery is honestly second to none.

"However," the doctor continued "there is currently a procedure, an experimental procedure," he added hastily seeing Jesse Sr. look up, "that we could perform on your son. It's a very good procedure I myself have done it twice, and it has only failed once."

"What happened to the other one,"? "Uhh, he died" Dr. Mavien said somewhat lamely. Jesse Sr. stared at the middle-eastern doctor in front of him. "He was dying anyways," Dr. Mavien added quickly "it was a Make-A-Wish foundation thing,"

Jesse sr. nodded in understanding, one thing was registered in his mind there was hope for his son "the thing is the doctor continued "the procedure is quite expensive and-," "and what do you mean by that?" Jesse Sr. demanded. Doctor Mavien realizing his mistake grew very stern, "Mr. Aarons, I did not mean to offend its just that this procedure is one of the most expensive here, _I_ can't afford it and im one of the most well paid doctors here!"

Jesse Sr. chastised himself; he needed to stop taking things as an offense. Then, it just hit him, he did that all the time to Jesse, "how much is the surgery?" Dr. Mavien sighed "seventy-five-thousand dollars," he said grimly Jesse Sr. cursed in frustration; Dr. Mavien couldn't do this to this family or to that poor boy he had to do something but what, what could he do to help them? Then it struck him.

Leslie was patting Jess's head ryhematically she felt like this was somehow her fault; there was a terrible knot in her chest like someone had her stomach in a vice-grip. Leslie scanned Jesse's face it was expressionless, she didn't know if this was because he was blind or because he found out he was blind. The vice-grip tightened.

The past few hours went by in a fast forward Jesse was manhandled like a puppet for several tests; he took notice that doctor Mavien and his father were not present, and yet he didn't really give a shit. Jesse was blind now how could he? His father was probably having a few booze with Mavien telling him how Jess was more interested in drawing then _important things _like football or wrestling.

Jess didint see why his father hated him so much. Was it because they were so different? Jesse Sr. never was good at being understanding or caring he hated how jess liked to draw, oh yes god forbid jess be interested in something his father wasn't.

Jess felt tears sting his eyes, he would never say it, but he wished his father would love him, like he did Maybelle, Brenda, Ellie, or Joyce Ann. Lord, why didn't he love him, why?

Jesse couldn't even hear or see himself sobbing, but Leslie could. She placed an arm across his chest and another under his head,she lifted his head to her chest and held him, while he gripped onto her shoulder for dear life. Never, in the past year and two months, that she knew him, had she ever seen him break down she knew this was long overdue.

Leslie felt sorry for Jess. He was a good kid, he was just different at showing it, Leslie couldn't blame him. When she first met him he wouldn't dare show her his drawings, but just a few days ago she was what Jesse was drawing.

It just hit her hit her, like a truck she hadn't been home for two days, she had been at Jesse's bedside waiting for him to wake up, she then relised she was tired oso tired.

Leslie awoke much later; she noticed there was no longer light coming from the windows it must be late. She also noticed she had fallen asleep on Jesse's chest; his steady heartbeat was a peaceful and tranquil lullaby.

She got up and stretched, she looked and saw Mary Aarons and her daughters, Brenda and Ellie's faces like there mothers, tearstained. Maybelle and Joyce Ann's weren't, of course they were too young to understand what was happening.

Leslie heard something it sounded like a low, frightened, groan. She heard it again she then took notice that it was Jesse, he was wincing and groaning as if someone was threatening to burn him.

She placed a hand on the top of his head and patted it his breath caught in his throat _a nightmare_ Leslie thought. His chest then relaxed and he stopped wincing and moaning, he looked at peace.

Jesse's eyes fluttered open about an hour later, "Les, is that you," "Yeah, Jess it's me," he closed his eyes and smiled gravely, "please Leslie don't leave me," he begged his eyes closed, Leslie could see tears underneath them. The vice-grip tightened once more. "Don't worry Jess I wont, I never will," she whispered softly, Leslie Anne Burke then did something she never did before she leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

It was 3:30 am when Jesse Sr. came back into the room. Jess had been released early, thanks to a personal favor by doctor Mavien, and the doctor's friend, who happened to be the security guard.

Jesse Sr. woke his wife and two eldest daughters, who carried the younger ones to the truck. Jesse Sr. carried Jesse Jr. he didn't have the heart to wake him. He carried him down the steps and into the truck and laid him in it carefully, while Brenda and Ellie rode in the back.

Jesse Sr. drove slowly so not wake the others. After they got home Leslie Mary Brenda and Ellie swiftly and silently, like thief's in the night carried Jess's blind stuff in; his cane, his brail reading kit, his black glasses, among others; all of this given to Jesse Sr. free of charge by Doctor Mavien.

Jesse Sr. carried his son to his bedroom and laid him down and covered him up with the blanket that hung in front of his bed. After they were done packing stuff inside the house Mary quietly asked Leslie if she would like to sleep on the couch to which Leslie sleepily ad politely declined.

"Actually, I was wondering if I could sleep in Jesse's bed tonight miz Aarons?" there was no trace of suggestiveness in Leslie's voice just genuine concern. Mary nodded and sat Maybelle and Joyce Ann on the couch instead.

Leslie walked up the Aarons staircase as quietly as she could, she entered Jesse's room the creak his door made seemed to be magnified tenfold, then she saw him.

Jesse was just laying there peacefully. She smiled people always seemed to be there happiest when they were asleep. She slid in under the covers beside him; his face was a millimeter from hers, his lips were in kissing distance she liked sleeping this way.

(AN: so how was that for a second chapter? is my grammer any better very sorry that it is so bad i was in a rush to write the first chapter! Thanks for the reviews! Especially from you MadTom I consider that a very high honor. For the record it is curently late in november in my story remember that as it is important later on. Also if the god of fanfiction IHateSnakes is reading this, please update soon I wanna know what happens!!!!!!)


	3. SSDD

Disclaimer: I own nothing

9:00 am Wednesday November 19th.

Jesse awoke early or late, he really didn't know he was too tired to care. Then, the events of last night came washing upon him like a tsunami; he opened his eyes, nothing.

It was the same if they were closed. Now he wanted to cry but found himself unable too, it was so unfair he did nothing to deserve this.

Jesse suddenly noticed something; he wasn't alone in his bed. There was warmth radiating off the person next to him, who was it? He could feel his body grow very hot, his cheeks were flushed, and his breath became rigid. There was only one person in the world who smelled like that, and that was Leslie Burke. Leslie Burke was sleeping in the same bed as him.

Jess felt a shift off weight on the bed and realized that Leslie was waking up. Before he could do anything, he felt Leslie's angel soft hands on his cheek.

"Hey" she said softly caressing his cheek, Jess longed the feel of her hand it was soft and comfortable he wished she would keep caressing forever.

"Hey" he said after a long and uncomfortable silence, Leslie sniffled Jess sensed she was fighting back tears "hey, he said reaching out into the blackness and cupping her cheek "its gonna be ok," Jess felt like he was telling himself more then Leslie.

"I hope your right," she said before getting up she took Jesses hand and helped him up. It felt so weird not being able to see anything, almost unnatural. Jess felt lightheaded for several seconds before Leslie said, "good morning Mrs. Aarons,"

Jess once again felt his cheeks go red "hey guys," his mother said sleepily._ Had she been there all this time was she sleeping in the room with them? Aw crap, what if she was?_ Jess thought nervously.

He heard his mother yawn and she then told him and Leslie to go down stairs. Jess had a feeling of growing dread. jess had a hunch what this talk was going to be about, but before he worried about that he had to actually get down stairs.

It felt weird, he couldn't see where he was going obviously, so when he stepped down he felt like he missed a step this happened all the way down and Leslie had to stop him from falling more then once.

Once Jess and Leslie found themselves comfortable downstairs, his mother began explaining to him what was going to happen for now on. She also explained how things were going to be done. First off, she explained to Jess all the different equipment the doctor gave to him. She explained how Brail would let him be able to read and how it would take time and how the whole family was there for him despite the fact that his mother and Leslie was the only one present. She also explained how the school would help him adjust to his "new lifestyle" and how he would be able to leave classes early with someone to help him, whom Leslie to Jesse's relief volunteered. Jess couldn't picture Scott Hoagar helping him to class, any more then he could picture himself snogging monster mouth Myers.

Mary Aarons then explained how he would be given more time to work on projects and how she and his sisters would help him with his homework and how the whole family was there for him. She then went on to explain how he would have to where black sunglasses for now on in mixed company. As a blind persons eyes sometimes frightened people and it was only polite to where them. Jess didn't perticurly mind this, but he was getting sick of his mother saying how the whole family was there for him.

She then went on to explain how there were audio books which meant Jesse could continue too read books which cheered Jess up considerably, but his spirits quickly diminished when remembered why he needed them.

His mother then explained how he would have to use a cane to help guide him around places a how he was to keep it with him at all times, in which Jess promised he would. Jess wished is mother would let him go upstairs he knew it as taking all of her energy to not breakdown and cry. Jess knew she was trying to be strong for Jess, but it wasn't honestly helping.

Mary explained the rest of the equipment Jess had to use for now on, she also said that once the family had enough money, they would buy a seeing eye dog for him. Jess wished he could go upstairs. He felt exhausted, but he didn't know why he hadn't done anything except get up and walk down stairs, but he felt tired all the same. The energy seemed to have been drained from his body.

11:30 pm Wednesday November 19th.

Dr. Steven Mavien was sitting in a bar it was 11: 30 in evening on a Wednesday, and he wasn't even close to how drunk he wanted to be. His body seemed to be rejecting the alcohol as he had been to the bathroom nine times in the two hours he had been here at the Higgins Haven.

It had been a hard week for Mavien, one of his patients died of a brain tumor right after he told them they still had a month to live, he had to tell another patient, a twelve year old that he was blind, on top of all that one of his friends from college was in a car wreck. Yes it has been a very long week for Dr. Mavien.

Someone planted themselves down on the barstool beside him, "you look like shit," the man stated bluntly.

"Hey Jeff," Mavien said to his friend Jeffery Hoffman, "how you doing?" Mavien asked not really wanting to hear the answer.

"Aww you know, SSDD," the man said taking a shot of tequila.

"Amen, Jeffery amen," Mavien said taking another shot. Steve looked at his poker buddy for nine years "Its been a long week," he said wisely.

"Yeah whys that," Jeff asked curious.

Steve chuckled "you have no idea, first I had this idiot newbie trying to tell me how to do my job, then I had this poor old sucker die, right after I told him he was guaranteed to live at least, for one more month. Then I had to tell this twelve year old who looked like he came right out of the trailer park, that he was blind. And to top it all off, you remember Colin Mitchell?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, saw him just last week," Jeff said remembering.

"Well he's dead," Mavien stated forcefully.

"what?" Hoffman exclaimed.

"Yep he was going to Ohio to visit some relatives and some drunk teenager creamed him," Mavien said ordering another shot of tequila.

"Wow," was all that Hoffman could say. There was a long silence, that Jeff eventually broke "and I thought my life sucked," downing another glass.

Steve looked at him "thanks buddy," he said sarcastically. All in all Jeff's life was probably harder then Steve's. Jeff was a police sergeant, for Washington D.C. Police Department and he always got stuck with the crapy cases. Jeff was one of the officers Virginia tech a place that would haunt his memories forever.

Jeff's police radio beeped, he held it to his ear and listened, he then fastened it back to his belt and started gathering his stuff.

"What's up?" Steve asked curious.

"Ahh just some little turd violating his house arrest" he said putting on his jacket and started to leave before he turned back to Steve "don't worry to much about that stuff ok Doc? remember we all have a choice," Hoffman said wisely. He then turned and left leaving Mavien to his thoughts, he decided not to dwell on the stuff that happened this week, but was curious on why he said the latter. He eventually came to the conclusion that it was probably the alcohol talking.

Feeling pressure in his lower stomach Mavien quickly hurried to the bathroom to relieve his bowels.

1:00 pm Wednesday November 19th.

Jesse felt sick. Not the good kind of sick either his stomach felt smushy and empty his skin felt like it was on fire, but it was cold at the same time, of course that's probably what he deserved for going outside into the crisp November air.

"You ok?" Leslie asked concerned. Jesse had been remotely quiet ever since his mother got done explaining to him all the stuff he had to do and use, it took a total of four hours to explain it all.

"yeah im just… frustrated" he allowed himself to admit.

Leslie put a comforting hand on his shoulder "don't worry ok? Im gonna stay with you, trough it all you wont have to go through this alone,".

Her words melted him his legs collapsed and he fell against the back of his house sobbing, his head in his knees. He couldn't control it, it was so hard. He felt Leslie hug him he wished she would never let go he needed to see. Her.

Her beautiful face, her golden hair, her beautiful eyes. Every part of Leslie Burke was beautiful and he would never get to see her again. It could have been worse he told himself Leslie could have died you could have died he told himself. Jess's mind was right it could have been worse a lot worse.

"Jess," his mother called through the screen door, Jess dried his eyes on his shirt and stood up. Leslie made a move to help him but he told her not too, "I got to get used to getting places on my own," he told her in which she kindly excepted.

Jess felt so vulnerable banging his cane away every which way he went. He felt around for the door and I took him almost two minutes to realize he was looking on the wrong side of the door, he found the handle and opened the screen door.

Jess felt his way into the kitchen and plumped himself down on the bench he felt drained, jess just wanted too curl up in a ball on his bed and sleep and maybe if he could manage it cry. His head had been begging him to cry his heart out ever since doctor Mavien told him he was blind. And yet he couldn't manage it, sure he cried at the hospital, but that was more of just tears not the kind of crying he needed. His soul needed.

Jesse ate his lunch, the rest of the girls would be home from school in an hour or so. Leslie sat down beside him his mother laid some food down, he smelled it and he could tell it was pancakes.

Mary Aarons sat across from her now blind son, and the girl that he cared so much for. Mary often wondered where her son would be had he not met this inparticular girl. Never the less Mary was glad Jess had a friend that cared so much.

"So Leslie how are your parents" Mary asked trying the lessen the tension in the room, but for some reason this seemed to cause the girl to be fidgety.

"Their fine" Leslie said politely.

"good" Mrs. Aarons said nodding "and they were ok with you staying the night?"

With this Leslie laughed but it was not the hearty, fun-loving laugh, Jesse was used to. This one was cold, bitter, and full of resent.

Leslie stopped laughing abruptly and Mrs. Aarons could se by the look on the young girls face that she had let something slip. something she didn't want Jess or her to know. This bothered Mrs. Aarons slightly.

Soon after lunch the girls came home in hand me down winter jackets: the cold had come early this year. A couple hours after the girls came home Jesse Sr. did, Jess was expecting to be treated better then he used too. Instead he had his heart ripped in two when he heard his father slumping down on the couch and turn on Larry King.

Jess felt miserable by the end of the night and even more so when Leslie left, her fierce hug did not help his anxiety much when usually they melted him.

Jesse went to bed in his clothes that night mainly because the house was freezing and he had on winter clothes. Unfortunately, he was unable to sleep he just laid there wondering if there was a point to living anymore. Jesse was starting to wonder_ if he would be better off dead?_

(AN: thanks again to all those who have reviewed sorry this one took longer to put up i think I again improved on my grammer errors. Oh and there is a topic that needs to be discussed the whole Leslie sleeping in the same bed as Jesse thing. what you have to realizes that there 12 they don't see the problem in two kids sharing the same bed and as far as the kissing distance thing goes specifically said in the last chapter _there was no suggestiveness in her tone just genuine concern_ she wanted to sleep wit Jesse because she knew it would have been a hard night alone she wanted to sleep with him not "sleep" with him)

R&R


	4. Migraine

Disclaimer: I do not own Bridge to Terabithia.

(AN: This chapter introduces new characters that may seem unimportant now but they will later have important rolls in the story.

Leslie Anne Burke did not want to go to school. It wasn't because she hated school it wasn't because the kids there called her 'cave girl' or because her arithmetic teacher was out to get her expelled.

It was because of Jess.

Leslie has a total of 1 and half friends at lark creek elementary, Janice Avery being the half, and Jesse being the one. The reason Leslie wanted to stay home from school was because of Jess a couple of days ago he had fallen into a creek and hit his head, and because he hit his head he went blind.

She just couldn't stand the feeling of leaving him there scared and alone. No, Jess wouldn't feel that way that's how she would feel like when she, no she wouldn't think about that now.

Right now she would just concentrate on finishing her lunch before the period was over. One thing that had Leslie very scared was Scott Hoagar and Gary Fulcher, and what would they do once Jess got back in school, which was another thing she was scared of.

She was scared for Jesse; because the last time she saw him there seemed to be a certain type of hopelessness in his eyes. She remembered, long ago when that same look was in her eyes.

12:30 pm, Thursday, November 20th.

Jesse and Mary Aarons were driving. They weren't just driving they were driving to the book store, they were going to do something very important for Jesse. Mary was in the drivers seat Jesse was in the passengers and all his books were in the back. The Lord of the Ring's, the Harry Potter's, the Narnia's, The Outsiders, The Shadow Children Sequence, the Dark Tower's, all the books Leslie gave him he was going to exchange for audio books.

Jess didn't want to do it but he had no choice, it was exchange the books or never read them again. Maybe he would have had an easier time with if it was Leslie's voice on the tapes, because when Leslie reads books to you the whole thing would just come alive, inside his head like a projector at the drive in.

Jess felt the car stop. He heard his mother shift the gear into park, _we must be here_ Jess thought to himself. He opened the door and flipped open his cane, and began to guide himself to the door.

During the summer, Bill had taken Jess and Leslie to this book store. It was called the Book Loft and it was HUGE not the Barnes and Nobles kind of huge, but it was like a corn maze every wall was covered with books and they were all arranged by author.

Jesse sighed and let his mother take him to the front desk where he heard her put the books on the counter causing his glasses to bounce. "hello I'd like to exchange these for audio cassettes," Mrs. Aarons said politely.

"sure thing," the female clerk said and left to get the audio books. Jess felt his mother put a hand on his shoulder and he wished Leslie was with him.

The women came back with the cassettes and placed them on the counter, "that'll be 38.50," the women said tartly, Jesse winced at the price. He did not know it was going to be that much, he shuddered to think of his hospital bills.

Normally, he and Leslie would have stayed and looked at books for hours on end but not now for two reasons. One Jess couldn't look at anything anymore and two Leslie wasn't with him.

Jess and Mary left the store and got back in the car where they drove to an ice cream parlor and got a couple milkshakes. Vanilla for Jess chocolate for Mary they ate in silence Jess was itching to ask the question that had been bothering him all day.

"Mom, can I go to school tomorrow," he said it in such a rush he wasn't sure if it was coherent.

There was another long awkward silence until Mary finally answered, "Jess I don't think you should go tomorrow," Jess sighed audibly, "I just don't think your ready honey," she added earnestly.

"Well mom, I think I know what im ready for and what im not," Jesse shot back, very angry. Couldn't she see he just wanted to get on with his life, as normally as he could. "listen mom, he said, more calmly "tomorrow is Friday, Everyone is going to be taking tests. While there taking tests, I can work on my homework with the special ed teacher, that way I won't have so much over the weekend," he reasoned. Jesse felt his words had an impact he did have logic behind his words.

His mother sighed. She knew that she couldn't possibly imagine what he was going through, "all right, Jesse ill think about it ok," she said gently placing a hand on his knee.

Jesse really wished he could see, that way he could glare at her, "fine whatever," he spat.

"Hey," she said tensely, "I really will think about it," she said meaning it.

Jesse sighed, "all right," they packed up their stuff and headed towards the rental car to go home.

2:33 p.m. Thursday November 20th

"Come on you queers lets go," 18 year old Evan Doberman, shouted from his car.

"I'm coming man," said Colin his blond headed friend who was in 11th grade.

"Wait for us," said Dean Lyric a token black 12th grader.

"And me," Jason gasped getting into the car.

"Took you guys long enough, sheesh grass grows quicker then you guys," said Evan shifting his car into drive.

"Just go," Colin said impatiently from the passengers seat.

no sooner then the words leave Colin's mouth did Evan floor it. They were speeding down the parking lot of the high school and onto the highway. Evan was going 40,50, 60,!

Just then red and blue lights flashed in Evans rearview mirror he pulled over as the cop did the same. "Shit," Evan muttered as he hastily put his seatbelt on.

The cop walked over to the drivers side. Evan recognized him as Detective Hoffman his next door neighbor, "you have any idea how fast you were going," the cop asked

"uhh, no sir," Evan said nervous.

"I clocked you going 60 miles an hour over twice the legal speed limit," the cop said officially.

Evan had to think fast as he handed over his license and registration, he had only one idea in mind, "im really sorry sir, its my eighteenth birthday today, and I guess I got a little to hyped up," Evan said awkwardly.

The cop sighed "almightily let you off this time Evan just please if your gonna drive over the speed limit do it somewhere where there isn't a cop," Hoffman joked.

"yes sir," Evan stuttered, the cop walked back to his patrol car and drove in the other direction. Evan gave a sigh of relief looked to Colin, Dean, and Jason. "What a faggot," Evan laughed and sped off towards his house.

1:05 p.m. Thursday November 20th

Leslie was rubbing her temples. She had a major migraine, she really wanted to go home to see Jess. He had to be anxious and Leslie wouldn't blame him.

Mrs. Abbott was passing out there notebooks having collected them recently she placed Leslie's on her desk. The book had a large red A+ on it causing Leslie to smile in spite of her anxiety. At least one good thing happened today.

Wanda Kay Moore who sat in front of Leslie was leaning on her chairs back legs against Leslie's desk with no other support. Wanda snatched Leslie's notebook and looked at it. Leslie could see Wanda's notebook and saw it had a B- on it, causing her to grin.

Wanda scowled at her "Know-It-All," she sneered.

"Moron," Leslie replied and pulled her desk towards her, causing Wanda to fall back on the ground and the class to erupt in laughter.

"Enough," Mrs. Abbott bellowed, "Leslie Burke, hallway," she thundered.

There were several "ooooooo's" as Leslie went outside the door, she rolled her eyes at them.

Leslie leaned against the lockers, bored. The period ended at 1:45, and Leslie knew that Mrs. Abbott would keep her out here all period, and then make her late for her next class, like she does every time.

The thing was Leslie didn't feel so good. Her skin felt cold, her head felt light, her eyes hurt, and her throat seemed to be constricting her. Constricting her so bad she could hardly breath, in fact she was finding it very hard to breath she was holding her throat trying to let one breath escape. And then darkness took over her.

Leslie Burke fell to the floor.

AN: cliffhanger what can I say leslies hiding something from Jess. Sorry for the slow update ive been grounded thank you all who gave reviews.

R&R


	5. Alone

Disclaimer I own nothing.

Leslie was stirring in her sleep. She was having a nightmare.

"No please don't," her dream self begged.

The being in front of her chuckled "too late," as his hands gripped Leslie's neck, cutting off her air supply.

Leslie shot up, white as a sheet. She was shaking; she had a strong urge to cry. It had been so long since she dreamed about _that_ why did she dream about that memory.

Leslie got her breathing under control and was shocked to see that she could breathe again. She wondered how long she had been out, she looked at the clock it read 2:22 she had been out almost an hour. She then realized she was in the nurse's station.

The school nurse came over to Leslie and took her temperature, "you had quite a fall honey, how do you feel?"

"Uhh lightheaded," Leslie replied truthfully, she then realized she still had the migraine, as well as a not in the back of her head, which seemed to magnify the headache tenfold.

"Well your temperatures normal. Do you feel up to going back to class or would you like to lie down," the nurse asked kindly.

"Uhh I think I would like to lie down," Leslie said. In truth her head hurt so much, the pain seemed to be paralyzing her legs.

"That's fine dear," the nurse said kindly before leaving the room.

Leslie laid down on the bed like thing the nurses station had it was made of cold leather so it didn't provide much warmth.

However, Leslie didn't want warmth.

In truth, Leslie wanted to curl up into a ball and cry, and cry, and cry, and cry. Until she couldn't cry anymore, she was shaking again. Why? Why did this happen now of all times? Leslie had to be strong for Jess, what was going on with him was much more serious then her demons, right now she needed to be strong. For Jesse.

2:33 pm, Thursday, November 20th

Jesse did not now what happened. At first, he had been laying on his stomach with headphones on listening to The Hobbit, when suddenly he felt like a brick of led dropped into his stomach.

He had a sinking feeling as if something was wrong, very wrong, but he couldn't think of what it could be.

Jess felt for his glasses and put them on, he gripped his already opened cane and stood up. He was going for a walk.

Somehow, amazingly Jess managed to get downstairs without tripping. His mom had gone to the store for supplies for the greenhouse. At first, Jess was shocked she was actually leaving him alone, given the state of things, but Jesse didn't mind it gave him time with his thoughts. He only wished Leslie was here to share them with.

Jess walked outside and the door slammed. It was very weird Jess felt so… alone. It was odd it wasn't the normal type of loneliness when there was no one to talk too. It was a kind of horrible feeling, and yet it felt familiar.

Where had he felt this way before? Jess couldn't think of it he didn't ever feel alone. Was it because of Leslie? Jess thought about this along time, he couldn't remember a time when he wasn't with her. On Halloween they were together, Jesse was dressed as a pirate and Leslie was dressed as The Phantom of the Opera, they covered the whole county and got quite an earful for being out so late.

During the summer they were wit each other almost every waking moment sometimes in Terabithia, sometimes in town, sometimes at the Book Loft, they were everywhere together. Even the year before they were together most of the time, except of course before he met her.

That was it.

Jess was feeling the way he did before he met Leslie. Jesse shuddered at the thought. Looking back at that time in his life made Jess sick to his stomach. He never realized how miserable he had been before he met Leslie. He was a loner at school, something Scott Hoagar and Gary Fulcher were quick to notice. Almost none of his family cared about him except his mom and Maybelle. Then again, that hadn't changed much.

It was amazing how much he had changed in the past year, he remembered being a coward afraid of water and dark woods. Then, Leslie turned him into a king a brave, courageous king that would standup for anything that was right.

Now he was blind. Could a person still be courageous and blind? Jesse assumed it was plausible, but he was so useless. What if he got lost in the woods, how would he find his way back without Leslie's help? Or worse, what if Leslie got hurt and Jess had to go get help? She would be dead before he got halfway to his house.

Jesse wished he could see. He always too his sight for granted he never appreciated how beautiful a sunrise was and how equally beautiful a sunset was. No, that wasn't true. Nothing has the same amount of beauty as something else. Nothing.

2:53 pm Thursday November 20th

Leslie was thinking. She was thinking long and hard. At first her thought was _no don't tell him, the truth would mortify him,_ then she thought that she should tell him _maybe he could help her with it._ No, she couldn't do that, he had too much stress already, considering the fact that he was blind!

Leslie felt disgusted with herself. Here she was wallowing in her own self-pity when the boy she loved was sitting at home by himself, probably feeling alone and scared. How could she be so selfish? Besides what happened, was _her_ fault. Leslie decided that the second she got home from school she would take Jesse to Terabithia that would cheer him up!

The bell rang and Leslie decided to head back to class, as she was too anxious to get anymore sleep. Leslie fought her way through the crowds and made it to Mrs. McCoy's science class.

Leslie got to her normal seat and arranged herself so that she was ready for the class; one thing she wasn't ready for was Scott Hoagar. "Aww man," he groaned loudly before the bell rang "I thought you died, here me and Gary were going to throw a big party and everything!" he was really enjoying himself

Leslie wasn't feeling perticurly friendly that day, "well I could always show up as a surprise guest, it would be a shame for all the _hard work_ you and Gary did to be put to waste now wouldn't it?" she asked sarcastically.

Scott stared her down, "yeah it would be a shame, a real crying shame," he retorted with equal sarcasm.

"Don't worry," Leslie, said taking her chances and patting his arm, "I'll be there. Just so you can feel special," she said in a mock caring voice.

"Get your filthy hands off me you _whore_," Scott spat angrily.

Leslie froze. No one had called her that for almost 4 years, instantly she was transported back into the basement of that house.

"You're a lying bitch!" the man roared throwing her into the wall, Leslie fell to the floor whimpering in pain. "You stupid, ungrateful, lying whore!" the man screamed once more kinking her in the abdomen.

"Stop it!" Scott screamed pushing Leslie, she fell against the desks, disorientated and once again near tears.

"Settle down class," Mrs. McCoy said absently oblivious to the exchange.

Leslie and Scott sat down; Leslie could hear him and Gary Fulcher muttering behind her back.

"It was freaky man, did you see her face? It was like she was in her own little world," there seemed to be unease in his voice he sounded _frightened._

Leslie was grateful when the end of the day came she greeted Maybelle s they boarded the bus. She nodded a hello to Kenny the bus driver; he saved her and Jesse once, on Halloween, she remembered that night clear as day…

"Come on Jess, hurry up," Leslie teased evading the boy of her dreams.

"I'm gonna get ya," Jesse called racing after her, earning quite a few stares from there fellow trick-or-treaters. Jesse was chasing Leslie down the sidewalk to another house. Jesse had grown as fast as Leslie over the summer, but she was skinnier then him and could get threw crowds easier.

Jesse was dressed as a pirate. He had a red bandanna on his head, covering his hair. Leslie made it for him, he had a fake pirate sword, (which would break by the end of the night) and a see through eye patch. (He could see threw it but other people couldn't.) Leslie was dressed in the standard phantom of the opera costume. She had the white mask, the suit, the cape, and even a little sword that Jess thought looked like a sliver toothpick.

Overall, they had pretty cool costumes they wanted to go all out, since this was probably going to be their last Halloween, they were growing up and this seemed to be one of the first things from their childhood to go.

They were going from house to house coming across a couple kids Ellie had gone to a Halloween party dressed as a devil, leaving Brenda to take care of Maybelle and Joyce Ann. Maybelle was dressed as a princess and Joyce Ann as a frog.

Jesse and Leslie were going up to the next house when they heard someone call, "yo Aarons! Cave girl!" they both turned and saw none other then Scott Hoagar and Gary Fulcher. Gary was dressed in overalls and had a fake butcher knife with fake blood in it. Scott was dressed in all black with a hockey mask.

"What do you want Hoagar," Jess retorted hotly, he didn't feel like dealing with them tonight.

"What do I want," he asked with false innocence, "I merely want to have a piece of candy," he said with false shock. Scott turned to Gary and whispered loud enough so Jess could hear him, "I want a piece of her candy too."

Scott and Gary were both snickering; Jesse couldn't believe that Scott had such a perverted mind. Scott and Gary marched forward as did Jesse feeling like he had to prove something when suddenly a new voice broke in, "What going on here?"

There stood Kenny the bus driver with his hat and big glasses, "well," he asked again, glancing back and forth from his porch.

Leslie was beaming glad that the fight had been avoided, "nothing sir, trick-or-treat!"

Kenny's agitation had been forgotten, but Leslie thanked him that Monday they went back to school. That fight could have turned serious with no teachers or adults around to stop it.

Leslie was awakened out of her memory by the bell ringing loudly it was time to go home finally!

3: 33 pm Thursday November 20th

Jess was waiting at the bustop for Leslie he forgot how he got there and when he tried to remember, he couldn't. It was odd but he hardly cared because Leslie was now running at him.

Jess paused briefly to wonder how he knew that. How did he know that? It was very odd, intuition maybe.

Leslie was breathless, "lets go to Terabithia," she said in between pants, and that's when it hit him.

Terabithia anything could happen in Terabithia why didn't he think of it before! Jess couldn't speak he was at a loss for words, so he just nodded vigorously. 

Leslie led him down the fields in a rush, she wasn't acting like herself but Jesse didn't care. All that he knew as that he had a chance to see Leslie's face again to be able to _see_ again.

They got to the creek; Jesse could hear its gentle roar he suddenly remembered the horrid feel of the icy water flowing over him. What a horrible feeling.

Jesse was stating to wonder how he was going o get acrossed but he suddenly realized that he wouldn't need too, his eyesight was returning!

There was a sudden loud crash and Jesse looked round frantically, but there was a falling sound and Jesse was pushed out of the way. The tree landed on the bank making something of a bridge.

Jesse stared at it and laughed, "Whew, that was a close one," he said relieved tremendously.

There was a groaning noise it sounded weak defeated, his vision returning Jesse could see under the tree, was Leslie being crushed by the fallen debris.

Her back was completely crushed there was blood in her mouth dripping from it. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out except a torrent of blood. Leslie's head fell into the grass. She was dead.

Jesse stood there horror struck _what, the hell, just happened?_ His brain wasn't registering it almost as if it didn't happen. Then he realized Leslie was dead.

Jesse awoke from his nightmare in the middle of the field between Leslie's house and Terabithia, screaming. Jess was screaming. Screaming and crying he couldn't see a thing but he didn't care about that, he needed to know if Leslie was all right. He was praying that it all was just a dream.

Someone was running towards him, they wrapped there arms around his neck, "Jesse there you are thank god," it wasn't Leslie it wasn't his mother. It was Ellie. Jesse didn't care who it was he clinged on to them for dear life screaming and crying.

He was still blind he was still alone.

(AN: hello thanks everybody for their reviews, ok just to clear something up it was a dream it was a nightmare that Jess had you don't have to worry about _Jesse's_ nightmares no you don't have to worry about _his_. I would say that you don't have to worry about Leslie's nightmares, but then I would be a liar.


	6. Chance

Disclaimer I own nothing

(AN: before we start this chapter I would like to apologize to IHateSakes as I inadvertently copied apart of his story in one of my previous chapters the part where it went Never, in the past year and two months, that she knew him, had she ever seen him break down she knew this was long overdue. I copied that absentmindedly and I am sorry. Sorry for the wait now on with the fic!)

Jesse was shaking all over as his older sister Ellie brought him some hot soup; the nightmare was still fresh in his mind. "Don't worry about it Jess, come on eat your soup," she said in a kind nursing voice. Ever since she went to the community college and started studying on how to be a nurse, Ellie had grown considerably nicer.

Jess ate his soup without much word, that nightmare had scared him so much, it was so real. Ellie watched him with great concern. It wasn't good for someone to be like this, was it because he lost his sight or was it because of something else?

They heard the bus stop outside and they could here Maybelle coming towards the house. Brenda had already left the house the second she got home. Maybelle ran in followed closely by Leslie. Maybelle ran upstairs, Ellie pulled Leslie aside before she could get to Jess she only said one thing to the young blond girl, "be careful."

Leslie gave the older girl a weird look but headed her advice, and approached Jesse slowly. Jess was of course oblivious to her presence; he was shaking so bad he could barely keep a handle on his soup, some of the hot contents spilled out of the cup and onto his hand causing the bowl to drop and hit the floor, but not break.

Jesse cursed and put his face in his hands and began to sob again. Leslie instantly headed towards him. "Jess, are you ok?" She said sitting next to him on the couch.

"Oh Leslie!" he said blindly wrapping his arms around her and crying into her shoulder se just patted his head comfortably whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Jess continued to sob increasing his grip on Leslie's shirt.

Through his sobs Leslie could just hear him whisper. "I can't take this Leslie. I'm losing my mind." He sobbed, "If this keeps up I'm, I'm going to end it." Jess then broke down completely. Leslie lost all the color in her face, she slowely wrapped her arms around him and supported him up the stairs to his room she sat him down gently, like a baby.

Jess was still crying but was getting his breathing under control, _she's still alive Jess, she's not dead._ He had to keep reminding himself that.

Leslie was apparently sitting in front of him she put her hands on his shoulders. When she spoke her voice was barely above a whisper. "Jesse, I want you to tell me the truth on this. I want you to know that no matter what im still your friend ok?" She took a deep breath. "Alright are," she took another deep breath, "are you suicidal? Jesse's face was expressionless for the longest time. Then to Leslie's horror he chuckled slightly smiling a smile that wasn't his and nodded.

Leslie's hands were shaking now. She felt a rush of emotions; pity, despair, sadness, anger, and shock. Before she could stop herself she slapped Jesse right across the face. "Don't. You. Even. Dare. Jess Aarons. You here me? Don't you dare!" she spoke angrily, acid was in her voice.

Jesse's tears began to flow more now, "Les, you don't understand."

"I don't understand? I don't understand?" Tears of anger were in her eyes now. "Damn it Jesse, you feel this," she pulled of her arm warmer on her left arm and put Jesse's hand to her wrist. "You feel this and tell me I don't understand."

Jesse felt her writs, he felt her soft porcelain skin, but then he felt the disturbance there was a change in the skin not rough but not porcelain. Jesse knew he was tracing the outline of a scar.

Leslie couldn't take it anymore, "I'll be right back." She ran to the bathroom and gripped the sink for support. The sink didn't help much her legs gave out and she was on her knees with her forehead resting against it. The contents of her stomach shot up her throat, she managed to get her head over the toilet lid just in time as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl.

She was still on her knees, she was hugging the toilet. She was panting she laid down between the sink and the toilet trying to clear her head. Leslie felt like she sat there for hours. Against her will she fell asleep.

5: 30 pm Thursday November 20th

"It is a possibility." Dr. Mavien said uneasily to Jesse Sr. who was listening intently. "But, the more we wait the less likely chance it will be successful."

Jesse Sr. sighed deeply, "but there's still a _chance_ right? There's still a _chance_?"

Mavien sighed, "If we get him in here in the next week there's a good chance. Two weeks is pressing your luck. Three weeks forget it." He stated with finality.

"But," Jesse Sr. said, "There's still a chance?"

Dr. Mavien sighed it was times like this that he hated his job hated having to tell people that they were dying, hated having to tell families that their child won't live long enough to get their drivers license, hated having to tell an incredibly poor family that their son s blind and the only hope he has of getting better is if they somehow forked up seventy-five-thousand dollars in less then two weeks. He hated it all.

Dr. Steven Mavien sat down and rubbed his head in frustration. He didn't want to give the man false hope but he couldn't lie to him. "If you can promise me the money I could perform the procedure, but if you can't get the money by the first it will be too late."

Jesse Sr. saw a glimmer of hope all he had to do was get tem one but how could he get seventy-five-thousand dollars?

"Doctor I was wondering," how could he say this without sounding like an idiot? "I was wondering if it were possible for Jess to regain his eyesight y another means, you see-" but Dr. Mavien held up a hand right there to silence him.

"If you're talking about another head trauma Mr. Aarons, I would have to say that is highly unadvisable."

"But I've seen-" Mr. Aarons began but the good doctor cut across him again.

"Mr. Aarons, im not trying to insult your intelligence, but you do need to separate fiction from reality. Just because it happens on ER or House does not mean it will happen in real life. Hollywood has abused the meaning of the word miracle. You want a miracle read My Sisters Keeper that's a miracle. Want another one? You should have come in here Christmas Eve two years ago. A 10 year old anorexic boy came in with his mother who had a heart attack. We weighed the boy, he was eighty pounds, and his mother was one-ninety-nine. That boy carried her on his back for six miles when it was 3 degrees out after escaping a car wreck. That Mr. Aarons is a miracle, not hitting your son in the back of the head to make him see again, just because you saw it on ER. That doesn't work that's how people are killed."

Mavien was breathless by the time he finished, and Mr. Aarons looked grave, "so without the procedure," he trailed off unable to continue.

"Yes. if you can get him in this weekend success is practically guaranteed. After that is iffy but still possible, after the first though, it's a lost cause."

Jesse Sr. sighed, "Alright, Thank you for your time Dr. Mavien." He said standing up and shaking his hand.

"You will never have to thank me for something like this Mr. Aarons." Mavien sighed, "However Mr. Aarons I do have to ask you something," Jesse Sr. looked puzzled, "For the sake of your son's mental health, don't tell him about this until your sure you can provide the money, ok?"

Jesse Sr. nodded and then left the room.

7:00 pm Thursday November 20th

Leslie's eyes fluttered open she was sitting on a couch with a quilt over her she pushed the quilt off and stretched her arms. Immediately someone else was on the couch with her flashing a flashlight in her eyes.

"Stop it." Leslie complained blocking the light.

"Hey someone said turning off the flashlight; it was Ellie. "hey she repeated, " look at me do you remember your name?"

Leslie paused for a second confused, "Leslie. Leslie Burke," she said disorientated. "What Happened?" she asked rubbing her head.

"You passed out. Jesse got worried when you didn't come back from the bathroom so he called me up. You've been out since 4:00." Ellie stated she said this all matter of factly. One would never think that a year ago she was addicted to heroin.

"Thanks for patching me up where's Jess? Leslie asked looking around.

"he's upstairs', he was pretty upset thinks its his fault." There was a question hidden in her voice that Leslie did not miss. "Anyway, I gave him some Clonidine settle his brain down he's probably sleeping he'd b waiting to see you." She said standing up helping Leslie to her feet. "Go on up be careful though take it slow." Leslie felt like she was at a hospital, the way Ellie talked. "Oh and Les," Ellie called from behind her, Leslie came back down the stairs and stared at her in confusion. Ellie held out Leslie's arm warmer.

Leslie's heart stopped. She had her arm warmer; Ellie no doubt saw the scars. She needed to tell Ellie that she didn't make those scars but could she talk about it? To Ellie of all people? No she couldn't not now at least. But, would she tell Mr. and Mrs. Aarons would she tell the hospital? No. that couldn't happen.

Leslie expected to see satisfaction o Ellie's face but instead she only got a confused look that took Leslie a long time to decipher.

And then it hit her. It was pity.

(AN ok ive chosen here to stop sorry it took a long time for me to update but ive been in a kind of depression right now so its gonna take a while. Im really sorry its taken me so long I hope this chapter don't suck like all the others. Anyway please review it makes us better writers though im a lost cause hope you all like this poor excuse of a fanfic that my dumbass mind conjured up.)

R&R


	7. Hectic

Disclaimer I own nothing

Thursday November 20th 5:30 pm

"Hey any body home?" Evan Doberman called from the doorway to the Aarons house.

"Come on man she aint here." Colin complained.

"Shut up man, we don't know that yet, yo Ellie where are ya?"

"Evan! Up here." Ellie called from upstairs.

Evan gave Colin a look as if to say I told you so and ran upstairs with Jason and Colin on his tail. Dean was at home watching his 6 sisters and 2 brothers none of them were over the age of nine, so Evan and his friends decided to visit Evans girlfriend instead.

"In here," Ellie called from the bathroom.

Evan walked in and saw Ellie knelt over a blond teenaged girl who was knocked out, "whoa what happened?" Evan asked dazed.

"Passed out from the looks of it doesn't seem to be hurt give me a hand I'm gonna get her on the sofa." Ellie grabbed Leslie's legs while Evan got her arms and carried her down the stairs and gently placed her on the couch. Ellie turned to the blond teenager, "Colin upstairs in my room is a quilt, go get it for me?"

"Huh? Yeah sure." he then left to go upstairs he returned seconds later with a gray quilt together they placed it over her.

Jason having nothing to do observe they were alone in the house; "where is everybody?" he said scratching his black curly head.

"I gave Jess a pill to help him sleep he was having an anxiety attack. Brenda's out on a date, mom got's Joyce, dads at work I think, and May belle's upstairs."

"I think I'll go see old Maybelle." said Jason clapping his hands.

"I think if you try that, I'll make it so you can't have kids." Ellie said evenly.

"Ok ok easy killer." Jason said holding up his hands in defense he took out a joint and a lighter, "you guys want some?" he said holding out the joint.

Ellie had to look away, "whatever just do it outside," she said walking out of the room into the kitchen.

Evan got right in Jason's face and knocked the lighter out of his hands. "What's a matter with you?" he demanded angry.

"What's a matter with me? What's a matter with you?"

"You know Ellie was addicted, why are you flashing joints around like a goddamn drug dealer huh?" Evan kept his voice to a harsh whisper.

Shock formed on Jason's face, "aww man I'm sorry. I completely forgot." Jason said pleading innocence.

Evan pinched the bridge of his nose "whatever just go wait in the car." he said pointing towards the doorway.

They both nodded and left.

Evan headed towards the kitchen and saw Ellie making chocolate milk when she saw him looking at her questionably she responded, "Maybelle."

"Oh ok." he walked over behind her and put his hands on her hips and kissed her neck. "Sorry about Jay he can be an ass sometimes."

Ellie giggled at his necking "don't worry about it I just had to clear my thoughts." Ellie turned her head and kissed Evan on the lips and then returned to making May's chocolate milk.

"So," Evan said hopping on the counter, "you coming to my fiesta?"

"Maybe if I can get off work." Ellie said putting the Nesquick away. Ellie worked at the Hot Topic in Millsberg Plaza, she was on good terms with the manager so she could probably get out of work on Monday. Monday was a special day because that was when Thanksgiving break started for Lark Creek.

Ellie leaned against the counter and looked at Evan for a long time, "how's your brother doing?" he asked in a concerned tone.

"I don't know hopefully better then yesterday. My folks are really worried that they wont be able to get Maybelle into college though. Jess has some benefits being blind and the neighbors have even offered to help but Maybelle is a long shot. I mean between my college funds and rehab bills to Brenda and now Jess's hospital stuff, its all hectic." That was one way to describe it, for the last year had not been kind to Ellie and her family the worst thing being their truck getting stolen their insurance covered that…barely but what really killed them financially was the fact that Brenda had to get an abortion, and now to top it all off, her brother was blind. In Evan's opinion God was picking on the Aarons household this year

"Well if you ever need a place to stay you know where to go." he said leaning forward kissing her on the lips.

"Yeah I do don't I?" Ellie teased with a wink.

"You better." he said with false danger, a car honk roared outside, "I gotta go but ill see you Monday night ok?"

"Ok" Ellie said laughing as he tripped over his feet walking out of the kitchen door

"Love you!" he called.

"Love you too!" she called back before returning back inside to tend to Leslie.

Thursday November 20th 7:15 pm

Leslie silently creeped into Jesse's room carefully avoiding the vast array of Barbie dolls and Dora the explorer toys. She pushed past his makeshift curtain and saw him lying there peacefully; dead to the world.

She sat down on the bed beside him and was tempted to just lay down there with him and sleep the day away, but she couldn't. She had to straighten things out with Jess she couldn't have him thinking she was suicidal.

"Hey," she said nudging him gently, "hey wake up sleepyhead."

His eyes fluttered open he sat up and rubbed his eyes and looked around a look of disappointment filled his face. He was obviously trying to see if the previous events were all a bad dream and he really wasn't blind. He looked very tired and still sleepy he looked around for the source of his disturbance, "Leslie?" he said in a tired tone.

"Hey sleepy, what's up?" It was a stupid thing to say but a good way to start things off.

"Ohh uhh nothing really," he started awkwardly, "just uhh… oh forget it, Leslie I'm sorry." His face full of remorse. "I shouldn't of said anything it was stupid and-" Leslie put a finger to his lips to silent him.

"Jess, don't worry about it ok? It's my fault I shouldn't have made you feel that scar"

"Leslie-"

"No." she cut him off again. "No Jess I won't have you blame yourself for that. It was stupid and immature of me to do that it's MY fault, not yours."

"Les it wasn't stupid ok and I don't blame-" she again put a finger to his lips to silence him.

"Jess lookit, I didn't even make those scars, so don't worry about it ok?" She said this barely above a whisper but Jess caught every word.

Jess was baffled. She didn't make the scars on her wrists? "Then who did?" Jesse asked speaking his thoughts, not taking in that it was a sensitive subject.

Leslie sighed heavily "I don't wanna talk about right now, ok?" Her voice was full of remorse and pain. Jesse decided to drop the subject. For now.

"What I do wanna talk about is whether you're really suicidal." Her voice was stronger now then it was before, as if the previous conversation never happened.

Jess sighed audibly much like Leslie did. It was his turn to be in the spotlight now. "It's not really that Les. It's hard to explain really. Ya see I want to live just…"

"Not like this…" they chorused together.

If Jesse could have seen her he would have looked at her in amazement. "How did you-"

"I just know Jess."

"Leslie please tell me what's going on."

Leslie tried very hard not to start sobbing right there and then. She knew she couldn't do that if she did Jess would demand to know what was wrong and Leslie couldn't tell him, she couldn't.

"I can't Jess." She said her voice a whisper.

"Leslie." he said reaching out into the darkness and cupping her cheek his thumb traced her jaw line. Jess could have sworn her face was carved by angels. Jess wished she would tell him what was wrong but she had put up a wall between them and Jess couldn't even begin to penetrate it.

"Leslie." He spoke again softer. "Tell me."

Leslie was quiet for a long time; the only way jess knew she was still there was because his hand still held her face. A little droplet of water slid of her face onto Jess's finger, he rubbed it between his index finger and his thumb trying to place it and it hit him. It was a tear.

When Leslie spoke again, her voice was pained, forceful. "Jess please, please for the love of God let it go."

Jess had never heard Leslie beg before and now that he did he was fairly certain that he never wanted to hear her do it again

They sat in silence for the rest of the evening till Jesse's father got home he spoke to Mrs. Aarons and Ellie in private before taking Leslie home. As she left Jess felt like he needed to apologize, but couldn't find any solid reason too.

Thursday November 20th 1:15am

Leslie held the kitchen knife against her wrist sobbing silently, despite how she wanted to press the knife into her skin, to feel the relief she desperately needed. She couldn't bear to do it. It seemed so…inhuman.

She stood there for hours with the knife pressed against her wrist, but never drawing blood. Every time she would begin to press down Jess's face would appear in her mind. She told him she wasn't suicidal and that was the truth, but it didn't mean she didn't cut. Even if it had been four years since she last did it. Jess's face made it so much harder to keep her sobs silent.

Approaching three in the morning Leslie collapsed to her bedroom floor, crying making a pointless effort to quiet her sobs. Eventually when she ran out of tears to cry she fell asleep but they were plagued by dreams. Dreams of her old life before Jess, before Terabithia, before Lark Creek, before Arlington.

She was going back. Back into the nightmare.

Friday November 21st 7:30 am

Ellie walked Jess and Maybelle to the bus stop. Due to the combined pleading of Jess, Ellie, and Maybelle they managed to make Mary agree to letting Jess go to school. Jess felt glad that his sister was walking him there it gave him a little more dignity then if his mom did it.

Jess was waiting anxiously for Leslie he wanted to get things straightened out after failing miserably the day before.

But the bus came and no Leslie. Kenny helped Jess onto the bus and sat him in the front seat. Jess didn't need to see to know that the other kid's eyes were boring into him. He could feel the tense atmosphere of the bus he could imagine what their faces held, shock confusion. A whole rush of emotions that were floating around the bus like goldfish that would skimmer away if you tapped the glass near them.

They got off the bus May belle and jess first May Belle walked him to the Spec Ed room and was introduced to the teacher Miss Swingle. Apparently when you enter the special Ed class the teacher has to tell you their life story because that's exactly what Miss Swingle did. By the time she was done with her stories it was 3rd period and Jess was ready to wail on her with his cane.

He was escorted to 3rd period English by Ruth Weber. Jess had seen her before on occasion and even had a crush on her in 4th grade. Jess remembered how the one time he beat Wayne Petis in the race he did because he saw Ruth at the finish line cheering for him. From that point on he would always stammer around her, and she would always blush at his pathetic attempts to flirt. This was twice as hard considering they were both nine and flirting was naïve to them then.

Neither the less he lost his crush on Ruth over the summer, but she remained kind to him and was never mean to Leslie, so Jess considered her a friend. Technically he now had 2 and half friends a Lark Creek; just like Leslie. Woupty-freakin-doo.

The class was given a test on persuasive writing that Jess of course got out of and was given his homework thankfully it was only one assignment, and the way it sounded he could have May Belle do it for him. Ruth escorted Jess to his next class and e could again feel all eyes on him. He was shocked he expected everyone in the school to know about it by now, but apparently he was wrong.

They both sat down and Jess heard snickering from behind him he nudged Ruth who shushed him in a warning tone. Jess then to his horror heard, "hey Aarons what's with the glasses are you blind or something." It was Scott Hoagar and Gary Fulcher, with sarcasm to boot.

Jess was about to give an angry retort with some swear words attached, but couldn't when he heard the door open and Leslie's voice say, "Sorry I'm late Miss Pristine."

**(AN: hope you guys enjoyed it though I doubt it. Originally this was going to be much shorter and sweeter but at the suggestion of my beta kept it dark. Also don't be quick to assume I promise you Leslie was NOT trying to kill herself merely cut for relief. What's going on with Leslie will be revealed eventually I have a plan for how it's going to unfold. Anyways I hope you all enjoy this chapter it's my longest one yet the next one probably won't be as long it might be. Otherwise please review even though its pathetic like me.**


	8. Problem

**Disclaimer I own nothing, except Ruth Dr. Mavien Hoffman Evan and his friends. **

Friday November 21st 7:15 am 

Judith Burke was not an ignorant woman. Nor was she a stupid woman, a foolish woman, or an incompetent woman. So when she woke to her daughter screaming in her sleep on the floor of their bathroom with a kitchen knife by her, she knew there was a serious problem.

A problem that couldn't wait.

Judith let her sleep until she woke herself up for school, she came down the stairs; dressed in all black, with circles under her eyes. Something Judy had never seen before. They ate breakfast in silence while Bill slept upstairs.

Judy's suspicions were confirmed by Leslie's silence, she selfishly wanted her to just go to school without having this discussion. However, Judy could not do that, there was too much at stake here. She had to do it.

"Leslie," She started unsure of how to continue. She put her hand threw her hair and sighed. _Best to be straight forward_ she thought. "Leslie are you cutting again?"

_Oh no! She did find me, she can't find out! _Leslie thought quickly, a perfect lie perked up in her head, but she had to feign innocence. "Huh?" She said her voice a little too high.

"I found you in the bathroom with a knife Les, you were passed out."

"Ohh that." She said waving her hand as if it was nothing. "No Judy you got it all wrong. The door was locked from the inside, so I went into the kitchen and got a knife to pick it. I did and I think I slipped in the water. I think the toilets leaking."

Judy sighed

"It's the truth Judy go look in the bathroom you'll see, there's water." Leslie pressed her, praying that she wouldn't go check.

Judy shook her head disbelievingly, "then why were you screaming?"

Leslie lost all the color in her face. She couldn't tell them that she was having nightmares again; she had enough therapy for one lifetime. She had to lie again. So she quickly formed another lie in her head, something that wasn't too far from the truth and her guardian would most defiantly believe it.

She covered her face with her hands and gave out several fake, but convincing sobs. Judy was at her side in an instant. "What is it honey?" Judy asked as white as Leslie.

She forced tears into her eyes, "its Jess! He's blind, and it's all my fault!"

Judy pulled Leslie close in a motherly hug. "It's not your fault Les, don't even think like that. It's not your fault." She continued to give her comforting words till Leslie thought it was safe to stop. She started sniffling and summoned up some last minute tears.

She began sniffling and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. She had to keep up the act, she hated manipulating Judy like this but she had too, she couldn't let her find out. "Ok." She allowed some disbelief in her tone, for good measure. "But it sure feels like my fault." She had her.

"Of course it does honey, and it's actually sort of good you feel this way because that means you really care for Jesse." Judy said in earnest.

"Really?"

"Really," Judy said patting her back

Leslie smiled. "Thanks mom." She used her secret weapon calling her mom; it broke down all barriers on her. Judging by her smile she truly believed her about last nights 'incident'.

"Go on up to bed," Judy said, "I'll take you to school in a couple hours."

She embraced her fiercely. "Thanks," she muttered, and flew up the steps and jumped into her warm bed. Although she didn't get to see Jesse she still got to sleep in which was good. She did hate having to lie to Judy, especially after everything she and Bill did for her but, she didn't have a choice.

Soon sleep overtook her and thankfully she had no nightmares.

Friday 10:23 am November 21st

"Sorry I'm late Miss Pristine," Leslie muttered, handing her a slip from the office. She searched the room and saw Jess sitting next to Ruth Weber. She also saw Scott Hoagar and Gary Fulcher staring at her, but to Leslie's disgust Scott wasn't staring at her face.

Leslie quietly walked over and sat on the other side of Jess. She saw him tense up when she sat down and a pang of guilt hit her, he probably thought she was mad at him.

Testing to see if it was okay she prodded him, "hey."

He turned to the direction of her voice, "uhh hi" he stammered. An uncomfortable silence fell between them, that was broken not by Jess or Leslie. Then very slowly Jess grabbed Leslie's hand and squeezed it, she squeezed back.

"Aarons I will give you ten bucks if you can guess where she is," Scott Hoagar's voice broke in, ruining the moment

Jess felt anger well up inside him; Jess grudgingly bit his tongue at Scott's comment, there was no point in getting in a fight his first day back.

"What is it Jess? Never heard of a ten dollar bill before?"

"Shut up Scott," Leslie said coldly, taking Jess's side.

"I'm just asking a question, no need to defensive. So, tell me Aarons _have_ you ever seen a ten dollar bill before?"

Jess was gripping his desk with such a fury his knuckles were turning white.

"Hey Aarons your sister knocked up _again_?" Gary said smirking.

"Shut up Fulcher," Ruth said staring him down.

Jess's hands were trembling with anger, Gary and Scott were very lucky he couldn't see or else he would be all over them.

"I'd leave him alone if he would just answer the question." Scott said matter-of-factly. "I mean it's not a hard question really. Of course, then again…" Jesse could feel Scott smirking behind him. "It could be hard question for a kid in the retard class," he sneered.

"_Piss off Hoagar_!" Jess yelled turning around, wishing he could see for just a second so he could tell where he was.

"Jesse Aarons!" The teacher's voice cut in.

"What?" He snapped still shaking with rage.

"Why are you yelling in my classroom?"

Before he could answer Leslie broke in, "Scotts mocking him because he's blind!" There was no way Leslie was going to let Jess get punished unfairly.

"Shut up!" Scott yelled at her.

"His sister too," Ruth added, ignoring Scott.

Mrs. Pristine glared at the two boys who were glaring at the back of Jesse's head. "Scott Hoagar, Gary Fulcher, get out of my classroom!" They looked uncertainly at each other, "_now_!" She snapped.

They glared at the trio and left taking there book bags with them. Leslie put a comforting hand on Jess's shoulder making him smile sadly. She leaned in close to his ear and whispered, "Don't worry about them ok?" Jess could only nod.

After math they went to fifth period lunch, while Ruth went to her class; she had lunch sixth period.

Leslie got Jess's tray for him and brought it to their table. If there was one thing Jess could do without any help it was eat. It just seemed natural he didn't even need help finding the tray to poke his fork at. Eating was natural to him, of course considering the food he was eating now he sort of wished eating didn't come natural. If the Health Department ever investigated Lark Creek's lunch rooms, Principal Turner would have a run for his money.

They ate in silence, Jess knew all past regression had been forgotten but it didn't stop the awkwardness. Luckily it was all broken when Mitch Hastings an 8th grader came up and said that the principal wanted to see them.

When they walked into the main office Leslie saw Gary and Scott smirking at them, they walked into the principal's office and were told to shut the door by Mr. Turner. Leslie helped Jess find his seat and then sat down beside him.

Mr. Turner was a tall bald black man with glasses and a tan suit. He was a good principal; he didn't put up with bullying, especially if it was against younger children.

"Well," he said closing the door, and sitting down. "I've heard their story and personally I don't believe them, so let's hear yours."

Leslie unraveled the story of how she got into the class room and what Scott and Gary did and what her Jess and Ruth did. Leslie silently noted that Ruth was not in the room or the office.

Mr. Turner wrote all this down. "So Scott and Gary started on you two, not the other way around?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll let you guys get back to lunch but please try to stay out of trouble. I know you guys are good kids, but I am tired of having the four of you in my office." Mr. Turner said sternly.

Jess had to suppress a smirk. It was true, he Leslie, Scott and Gary had been in Mr. Turner's office a lot this year.

Leslie and Jess went back to lunch, but then turned around when the bell rang when they were halfway there and they turned around and headed to gym.

It then dawned on Jess that he wouldn't be able to participate in gym. It didn't particular bother him about having to miss out on activities such as football or basketball but he would miss being the second best in the class when it came to running.(the first being Leslie.)

As the kids played dodge ball Jess was able to pass the time by hitting himself in the head with his cane tied up. Sure it might not have been the healthiest choices of passing the time, but he was bored and it was about the only thing you could do when you were bored.

The teams on the dodge ball court were seven on seven Scott and Bobby Gregg's were made the captains. Scott chose Gary, Greg Williams, Earle Watson, Clyde Deal, Billy Rudd, and Bill Morris or the two Billy's as they were called.

Bobby Gregg's team consisted of Leslie, Timmy Vaughn, the Butcher cousins, Jimmy Mitchell, and Sally Koch. Jess was able to keep track of who was in and who was out because Coach Boston would shout if someone was out or not. Jess took great pleasure when he only counted Leslie's name getting shouted once. Unfortunately, Scott's name wasn't called much either.

Jess was keeping track of who was in and out while sitting on the bleachers tapping his cane against his head. So far the two Billy's, Earle, and Gary, were out on Scott's side, while Bobby Gregg's, Jimmy Mitchell, and Rick Butcher were out on Leslie's team which meant they had the advantage.

"Williams, out!" Coach Boston bellowed. Good Jess thought, Hoagar's going to lose. "Vaughn! Get outta there!" the coach bellowed, great now they've lost Timmy Vaughn. "Koch." coach bellowed again. They just lost Sally Koch. A second later Jess heard "Butcher's out!" Now Leslie was by herself if Jess was correct.

Jess could only hear the dodge balls hitting the walls as Scott and Clyde tag teamed Leslie. "Deal! You're gone." Good, Leslie could take Scott on her own. And in no time at all Jess heard the beautiful sound of coach Boston calling Scotts name. "Hoagar you're done!"

"_Damnit_!" Jess heard Scott yelled and the sound of the dodge ball hitting the floor from where Scott had thrown it in fury.

The coach sighed, "Scott go to the office," he said blandly.

Jess snickered at the fact that Scott was going to the office for the second time in less then two periods.

Jess heard the gym doors slam and the class erupt into conversation at the previous exchange. Leslie was at his side in an instant. "Hey, what's up?" She asked delighted at her little victory.

"Good job." Jess complimented her. Her cheeks reddened. "Where are my glasses?" He asked feeling for them, just realizing he didn't have them.

"Hold on," she said. Jess felt her place them on him; they seemed heavy on the bridge of his nose.

"You know it's gonna hard for me to be king of anything being blind." Jess said just now realizing.

"No it won't Jess. Many rulers have reigned where they were at a disadvantage. Remember Prince Caspian? He was just a kid when he took over the throne. Plus, he led an army against his own uncle and fought bravely for what he thought was right." Leslie said proudly. She sounded like her queen self once again.

"Yeah I guess your right, who knows maybe I can use this," he held his cane, "as a sword?" he made many slashing movements imitating hokey battle cries.

Leslie was laughing her head off, "god you're just like Prince Terrian."

Jess smirked, "it's been forever since I've seen him, ya know?"

"Yeah you're right maybe we can take him to Terabithia with us?"

"Yeah maybe," Jess muttered still uneasy out going back there.

"Can never get a clear answer form you can I" Leslie asked smirking.

Jess grinned; he felt euphoric for the first time since he had his accident things were finally turning back to normal. He and Leslie were acting the way they did before this whole ordeal and Jess felt happy. But then, he remembered the night before and Leslie's words. _"Jess please, please for the love of God let it go." _She was so scared, she was begging, and despite Leslie's wishes he was not going to let that go. Never.

After gym was study hall which was a good thing for the both of them, it was also the perfect time for Jess to spring the question, but every time he tried he'd lose his nerve. Jess felt cowardly, his friend was hurting and he couldn't summon up the courage to ask her what was wrong. The thing was, she was so scared last night and Jess felt like he couldn't do anything for her. Jess knew one thing though, whatever this secret was, getting it out of Leslie would be no small task.

Jess never got round to asking the question and before they knew it Study Hall ended and they were in Chorus. Chorus was one of Jesse's favorite classes. One was because Scott Hoagar and Gary Fulcher weren't in it, two was because Leslie had a beautiful singing voice almost like angels that swam above the rest of the class, and three was because of Ms. Sullivan or Ms. Sully as some kids called her. She was a lively old thing more of a energetic student then a teacher she had silvery, grey hair, with amber colored glasses.

In chorus they sang Christmas Shoes, (a song that brought tears to Leslie's eyes every time they sung it.) If We Hold On Together, We Wish You, The 12 Groovy Days of Christmas, and Not While I'm around; a song from Sweeney Todd that Leslie had suggested they sing. It was good for Jesse; they had already sung these songs a month prior or else Jess wouldn't have memorized them.

Jess's favorite song was If We Hold On Together from the Land Before Time movie. It was a very good song that always cheered Jess up.

As chorus ended Jesse and Leslie headed to the one place Jess didn't want to go; art class. Jess knew he would have to face this sooner or later but it didn't mean he would like it. He would have to sit in the back of the room all day, while people around him did what he was born to do; art.

Leslie could sense Jess's distress; it had to be difficult for him just sit there knowing that everyone around you was doing your favorite hobby. Leslie nearly laughed; hobby was a horrible way to describe Jesse's passion for art. He drew like people breathed and to call it a hobby, was practically an insult.

Leslie deciding that Jess needed something to get his mind off what was going on around him; so she decided to tell him one of her stories, she loved how he would smile when she told him her stories. Leslie told him the story of Billy Marshall; a boy who moved with his family to an economically deprived section of a huge city Leslie knew this was one of Jesse's favorite story's, she told him every detail in a voice that draws you in like a bass on a fishing line. She told him of Billy's adventures with a girl who she named Anna; a mysterious girl that only Billy could see. Every time Leslie told Jess that story he would compare Anna to her, despite her denying any resemblance.

By the end of the period Jess was smiling like he did when they were in Terabithia; Leslie was happy that she was actually able to help him.

At the end of the day Leslie guided Jess to the office they went in and Leslie filled out the paper saying she was going to be Jess's guide for the remainder of the semester; she would have to fill this paper out again at beginning of the new semester too.

Unfortunately, due to them having to go to the office they missed the school bus; Leslie tried to call home but no one picked up, so they tried Jess's place and Mrs. Aarons picked up. She said that Ellie and her boyfriend would be by soon.

Jesse went with Leslie to wait in the parking lot; talking about nothing important, whilst throwing pebbles into the street.

"What are you waiting for Aarons? The short bus?"

Jess's heart seemed to stop; Leslie slowly turned around and saw Scott Hoagar smirking at them. She helped Jess up, "come on lets go."

"Aww don't be like that, I just wanna talk."

"Shouldn't you be in detention Scott?" Leslie asked mockingly.

Scotts face turned to anger, "think that's funny do you? Thanks to you two lovebirds, I'm one detention away from getting expelled."

"Gee I wonder why that is," Jess said sarcastically under his breathe.

"You got something to say Aarons?"

"Nope nothing at all," he said trying to keep a straight face.

"No I think you do," and with that Scott shoved him to the ground. "Come on tough guy! Let's see how tough you are! Come on, try and hit me, I dare you!"

"Go away Scott," Leslie said helping Jess up.

"Suck it cave girl." Scott said making an obscene hand gesture.

Jess had had enough, he reached out into the darkness and grabbed Scott's shirt and pulled him so that their noses were touching. "Shut up." Jess thundered; no one was going to say something like that to Leslie and get away with it, blind or not, Jess wasn't afraid of Scott Hoagar.

"Get your hands off me." Scott said angry he grabbed Jess's hands and squeezed them tightly till Jess let go of his shirt, he shoved him again to the ground.

"Stop it," Leslie's voice commanded, Jess heard a smack and gasp. He could hear Scott panting, or was it Leslie?

Scott smirked, "you listen here and you listen good, I will kick both of your ass's any day of the week, you got that? I am not afraid to hit a girl, especially one like you Burke, spreading your legs for Aarons at every given chance!"

Jess went deaf; in the brief pause that Scott took to take a breath, Jess picked up his cane and swung it like a baseball bat; his only concern being he might hit Leslie by accident. He heard the satisfying smack as it hit Scott and his curses in frustration. Scott tackled him to the ground and started to punch him in the ribs, when a new voice intervened, "What are you doing? Get off him!" Jess felt Scott get pulled off him as he tired to get his breath back, "no stay back, don't make me smack you," the voice warned. Jess could've sworn he heard it before.

"What are you going to do hit me?"

"Let me think about it," the voice said falsely pondering before exclaiming, "YES!"

Scott stepped back contemplating his options before finally deciding to leave, "this ain't over," he turned to Leslie, "whore," he turned to Jess, "rutter," he sneered.

"Get outta here!"

Scott chuckled darkly before leaving, Jess felt someone's hand touch is shoulder, "you ok?" It was Ellie she was using the same tone of voice she used when she found him in the fields.

Jess gulped, "yeah," he managed weakly. "Les you ok?"

"Yeah I'm ok," Leslie stammered she sounded anything but.

"Little turd," the voice said aggravated, Jess then placed the voice; it was Ellie's boyfriend Evan. "Sorry we didn't get here sooner, you ok?" He asked echoing Ellie.

"I'm fine." Jess stressed getting to his feet.

"Little creep," Evan said angrily.

"Chill," said Ellie soothingly. "Come on lets get out of here."

Leslie helped Jess to the car; she was trying to keep her hand from shaking but it was near impossible and Leslie knew Jess noticed it by the look of grief that fell on him. She would have to hide her emotions better.

They pulled into the shared driveway and loaded out Jess managed to make it to the house with only minor assistance from Leslie, but that would not distract him from his goal.

"Hey Jess?" Leslie said her voice a little high.

"Yeah?"

"Want to go to Terabithia?" She asked, Jess could still here her voice shaking.

"Umm.. I don't know maybe…"

"Why, what's wrong?" Leslie asked.

"Umm I don't really wanna talk about-," but he stopped right there. Déjà vu came over him like a tidal wave , except this time the roles were reversed; Leslie was the one questioning and Jess was the one answering.

Jess felt bravery purge through him; maybe if he could tell Leslie his secret she would tell him hers. Quid pro quo.

"Well Les ya see yesterday when you were at school," he took a deep breath. "When you were at school… I had a dream, a nightmare actually and in it we went to Terabithia; you and me, and when we got there my eyesight actually came back! But the second it did a tree," he sniffled, tears were in his eyes. "A tree fell…on you, your back was crushed you were throwing up blood!" Jess was crying hysterically now, but he didn't care he needed to tell her this; before it consumed him. "You looked at me and I just laid there and did nothing! _Nothing!_ Then, then you died! Oh Leslie it was the worst dream I ever had, I thought you were dead!" He was sobbing uncontrollably now; he let Leslie take him into her arms and cradle him like a baby.

"Its ok Jess, I'm here don't worry about it, it was just a dream." Leslie said comfortingly glad that she was able to do something and get her mind off what happened with Scott Hoagar. He continued to sob into her letting his emotions out, Leslie just held him whispering words of comfort like her mother gave her only hours before.

"Do you think it will help if we go there?" She asked him, after a long silence.

It took him a long time to answer, "I suppose it could… will you stay with me?" He asked he sounded like a frightened child.

Leslie kissed the top of his head, "always."

"I love you," he muttered, so Leslie wouldn't hear.

After several minutes they got up, Jess felt good but was still frightened. Leslie squeezed his hand encouragingly and he smiled.

They walked down the fields past the dirt road, past the little log, and to the crabapple tree where the rope once hung. Jess felt a pang of fear as they approached the rushing stream; he remembered the feeling of the icy water creeping over his scalp and his head hitting the rock. Well he didn't remember that part but he did remember the icy water, how cold it was, he hated the cold.

Leslie helped him cross the creek via a large wooden trunk that formed something of a bridge. Soon, they were at the castle and only one problem remained for the two friends; how Jess was going to get into the castle.

The answer was so obvious it took them ten whole minutes to figure it out; he would just climb the rope.

After they chastised themselves for being so simple minded, they climbed the rope with ease, Leslie helping Jess when he needed it of course. Soon enough, they were sitting in the tree house; Leslie eating a cookie, Jess eating an apple. What they were going to do during Thanksgiving Break was the topic of conversation, neither had plans so they decided on spending as much time as they could together.

There was probably only two bad things that happened while they were in Terabithia, one was where Jess couldn't see,, but he didn't have his hopes up about it even though he had the dream. The dream had scared him so much he rarely thought about it prior to today's visit.

The second was when he popped the question.

He popped the question randomly. That seemed to be the best way to do it so Leslie couldn't put any of her walls up to bloke him out of her mind. He asked the question.

"So, why are you acting so weird?"

Leslie was silent for a moment after her initial shock of his forwardness; she countered with an innocent "what?" Just like she did to her mother that same morning.

Jess groaned, "come on Les, you know what."

"No, I don't," she said a little too defensively.

"Oh stop it!" Jess said angrily; causing Leslie to flinch. "We both know what I'm talking about!" Leslie shrank two sizes; Jess didn't have to see it to know it happened. He sighed and spoke more softly, "Les, I can't help you if you don't tell me." He wondered how long it was going to take her to realize that.

"I can't tell you," she whispered.

"Why?" He demanded

She sniffled, "because if I do, that means it happened."

It took Jess a moment to realize what she meant by that; but when he did he knew that Leslie's pain ran deeper then he first thought.

"It's that bad?"

"Please shut up Jess," she said covering her eyes with her fists.

"I told you my secret, why won't you tell me yours?"

"I already told you," she said fighting tears.

"Its ok calm down Les," Jess said reaching out and touching her shoulder; she was shaking horribly. "Why are you so freaked out?" He asked after a little while.

"Jess don't-" she began.

"No I mean today, why are you so freaked?"

She didn't answer for a long time, but when she did it came out in a whisper like she was ashamed. "Scott."

"Scott?" He asked incredulously.

"He slapped me." She said, Jess could hear her secret in her words.

Jess didn't know what to say to that, he couldn't beat Scott up and making threats did little when people called you on them. Jess did the only thing he thought to do he wrapped his arm around Leslie gently and told her not to worry that he would take care of it.

After a couple hours they went home, Leslie wasn't able to stay at Jess's because of homework, and something else that she nearly let slip that Jess didn't catch; she stopped herself in the nick of time.

Hours later, Jess laid on his back his thoughts on Leslie as he contemplated on what was going on with her. He had seen a lot of shows where a kid would go all weird when they've been through a traumatic experience and Jess thought Leslie fit the profile perfectly.

A million possibilities ran through his head.

Did Bill beat her? Not possible.

Did Judy beat her? No way.

Was she molested? He shuddered at the thought

Did her grandma die? No she would have missed school; of course she did miss the first few hours…ugh! This is too confusing!

Jess gave up trying to figure out what happened to Leslie and then started to concentrate on what he was going to do about it, it was very obvious it was effecting his friends mental health. Jess didn't know how much more he, or Leslie could stand.

Jess would never know how he managed to fall asleep that night

Friday November 22nd 2:36 am

She had done it.

She had committed the one act she swore almost a year ago she would never to do again. She starred at the freshly made cut on her lower wrist; a shiver ran down her spine.

It wasn't supposed to happen like this all of this was supposed to be behind her; but it wasn't. The nightmares were back; she wasn't sleeping, and she was cutting again. Worst of all she was becoming a person she didn't like; she had manipulated and lied to her mother and Jesse two people she loved with all her heart. If only Jess would shut up about it maybe she would forget again. Leslie doubted it.

She found herself wishing she never stood up to Scott, why did he have to smack her? She felt like she was falling apart; piece by piece. Worst of all he called her that word; she had heard it so much in her younger years and Scott a kid who wasn't even fourteen called her it. Plus he slapped her, he slapped _her!_ She was amazed she didn't break right then and there. It was a miracle.

Leslie knew she should confide on what was happening to Bill and Judy, but they were in the middle of writing a book, so they were pretty distracted, unless she was screaming in her sleep.

Leslie didn't want to tell them anyways; she didn't want to tell anyone.

Despite how much she needed too.

**AN: wow that was long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok a couple things I know you guys probably don't like the way this chapter ended but in the long run its going to fit. This chapter was an important chapter and there is a hint that is hidden in here about Leslie's secret, well part of it.**

**Also to my beta im sorry I didn't send this to you prior but I have rewritten this chapter about nine times now and this is the version that I'm happy with, I hope you guys are too. Plus I think this is the one chapter where I made the fewest spelling mistakes. Please Read and Review.**

**Loonylover**

**P.S. am I the only one who pictures Leslie as a Tim Burton fan?**


	9. Colorblind

Disclaimer I don't own it I don't even think I'm old enough too.

AN (I dedicate this fic to two incredible people Ken, Melody. Your stories are magical.)

(I warn you this chapter is dark and has depressing themes in it and thoughts of suicide. If you are disturbed by this PM me and I will give you a summary of this chapter. I will warn you it is sad.)

Saturday November 22nd 9:30 am

"Jess, Jess wake up!"

"Whaa…" Jess said stirring in his sleep.

"Wake up!"

"May Belle?"

"Come on, Jess I'm gonna be late!" His little sister strained annoyed.

"Late for what?"

May Belle sighed hotly, "Alexandra's birthday party, mamas taking me, now come on!" She said grabbing her brother's arm and pulling him out of bed with satisfying, "oof."

"Ok May Belle chill," he said rubbing the not forming on the back of his head.

"Come onnnnnnnnnnnn!" she said dragging the last word out.

"I'm up chill," Jess said a little annoyed. She took his hand and led him down stairs; taking them two at a time. "Jeez May Belle slow down!"

She did, "sorry," she said just realizing that her brother wouldn't be able to run with her like he used too.

"Its ok, just give me a sec to wake up," he said rubbing the crud out his eyes. May Belle then took him down stairs slowly and led him into the kitchen where he sat down on the bench.

He could smell his mom roasting carrots, "Morning Jesse," his mother said uneasily. Jess had a feeling that it actually wasn't about him for once.

His foot tapped against someone else's under the tables, May Belle was beside him, and so he deduced that it was Brenda. "Morning Brenda," Jess said cheerfully.

He could feel Brenda jump as he said her name; she probably didn't think he would know she was there. Jess felt a little offended how stupid did she think he was?

"Err, hi," she said uneasily, Jess could sense his mother was giving Brenda a look as if to say, you say one word your dead. Jess found that in the corners of his house with his family he didn't need eyesight to know what was going on, just memories.

The uncomfortable silence, (something that seemed to be happening to Jess a lot these days), was broken by his father coming in from the greenhouse. "Damn sprinkler's broken again gonna have to replace it," Jesse Sr. said thinking out loud.

"Morning dad," Jess said and for some reason he felt his face go hot.

There was a pause in which Jesse Sr. replied "morning Jess," stiffly, but there was a faint sense of emotion behind his words. Jess then realized that this was the first conversation he and his father had since before the accident. No wonder everyone was acting weird.

"Mama were going to be late!"

"Hold on May Belle," Mrs. Aarons said, obviously spooked by her daughter breaking the silence.

"Jimmy Dicks and I are going out tonight," Brenda said in her normal snob voice.

"What ya gonna see?" Ellie's voice broke in, making Jess jump not realizing she was there.

"Beowulf," Brenda said in a snide voice, Jess knew why; Ellie had been waiting to see that movie since September. Jess was actually surprised that Brenda knew what Beowulf was, but then he remembered that while Brenda went on dates to the movies a lot, she rarely watched them.

"Oh," was all Ellie could say, Jess felt a little angry at Brenda, what she did was mean.

"Hey dad," Jess said hoping to break yet another uncomfortable silence.

"Yeah?"

"Can I call Leslie after my chores are done?" The moment the words left his lips he regretted them; he knew what his dad was thinking, he thought Jess was being a smartass.

"Don't worry about your chores Jess; I'll take you over to the Burkes in a bit." Although Jess knew he was being kind, the contempt in his voice cut like a knife.

"Ok." Jess whimpered, hurt by his fathers tone. Jess didn't know why his fathers words had such an effect on him, he said stuff like to him all the time. Even now.

Jess felt like a brick dropped into his stomach, he began to wonder whether or not his father gave a damn about him. The fact that Jess had to wonder made it all the worse, Jess began to realize, that despite that he was now blind, nothing had changed.

Jess didn't know why but he was suddenly blinking back tears, he knew he had to get out of the room quick. Without thinking he got up and bolted to the stairs, his shoulder hit the corner of the door frame between the hallway and kitchen, but he didn't care. He marched upstairs and after fumbling with the door knob, opened it and went into his room, slamming the door.

If Jess had been alone or with Leslie, he would have sobbed his heart out. But this was not the case, he was not alone; his entire family was here, so as usual he had to suppress his emotions. Jess knew that the pain he would feel later would be worse then it would now, but he didn't want to cry while his dad was around, it made him feel ashamed.

He wished Leslie was here to comfort him, but the second he thought about her he remembered how much pain she was in. Jess felt selfish; here he was bitching and moaning about how he wanted his fathers attention, while Leslie was going through something that was practically killing her. What kind of sick bastard was he?

Saturday November 22 10:14 am

Bill Burke ran his hand through his slightly thinning hair, frustrated and unsure if what he did was the right thing to do. He glanced at his cell phone, 30:14 the little screen blinked telling him that he had been on the phone with man for over a half an hour. Bill was shocked on how close to Lark Creek he was form what he said he would be there by Five.

Bill wasn't sure if this was good news or not but he needed to do something, and he didn't feel like calling up Leslie's therapist, again.

Bill didn't even know why he made the call; Judy said that Leslie was depressed because she felt like Jess going blind was her fault, so why did he call Henderson? Bill wasn't sure, instinct? Maybe, he would have to talk to Leslie today and warn her, that way she wouldn't be cut of guard.

Then again would it be so bad if she was? She had no reason to fear him Bill knew, and yet Bill once again found his thoughts back on why he called in the first place. Even if it was about what happened before he wouldn't be of much help.

Hell, Bill never would have called if the school didn't call him telling him Leslie passed out in the hallway and even then he wouldn't have but for some reason when Judy told him that Leslie was screaming in her sleep in the bathroom with a knife…

It clicked, the screaming was the reason he called. Leslie wouldn't have screamed in her sleep because of Jesse, she had to be having nightmares about before again. That was the only explanation.

Bill rubbed his temples he was thinking too much, too early. If he kept this up he'd need some Prozac. He ultimately decided to go back to writing his book.

He left the kitchen table and went to his study, or the beige room as Leslie called it when they first moved here. They repainted it an auburn color and placed book cases on the walls. Although he would never put something to cover up the walls in The Gold Room, Bill was enthusiastic about putting bookcases in his study. It completed it somehow.

Bill stared at his computer and pulled up his latest story, a tale about a band of kids forming a militia in Europe to combat the king as he invaded France. Bill had never done Historical fiction before, and thought that it would be a nice, different approach, from his normal political fiction.

Bills brain however, was utterly and completely blank. Crap, he thought what was he going to do now? Bill's mind went back to Leslie and how Judy said she blamed herself for Jess. Maybe we could…no his father would never approve…but we have the money… Bill was wrestling with the idea. He knew Jesse Sr. took a lot of pride in his work and would probably explode if Bill offered to pay.

Of course if he knew the situation… could he tell Jesse Sr. what was going on? He seemed to be an honorable man, from the few times Bill had seen him. But that could lead into inquiries as to why Leslie started in the first place. Bill knew that telling Jesse Sr. why Leslie was cutting now would be easy, but telling him about the first time she did it, would be much, much harder.

Bill decided to give up on the story for the moment and went to the hallway and presses his ear against his daughter's bedroom door

He could faintly hear music playing through the door, which was odd; Leslie hardly listened to music without headphones.

Bill was beginning to worry about Leslie a lot now; she was acting in a way he didn't like. She was withdrawn, quiet, and constantly looked like she was going to fall asleep.

Bill's mind went back to Jesse Sr. if he told the man maybe he would let Bill pay for the surgery. He didn't know how much it cost, but he did know that he had a better chance to afford it then Jesse Sr. did.

For Leslie's sake, and Jess's, a boy who had become like a son to Bill Burke, he would have to confront Jesse Sr.

He was a _tad_ nervous.

Saturday November 22nd 10:00 am

Leslie awoke with a small aching in her arm, her wrist specifically. She had a dull headache that was pounding in her head. She examined her mattress and saw the dry wall knife, blood stained on it menacingly. She carefully examined her sheets making sure there was no trace; all the blood seemed to have stayed on her arm, it was good for her that there wasn't a lot.

She sighed and laid back down on the bed, what am I going to do? Her mind asked her. Leslie was terribly confused and above all, scared.

Leslie needed to get her mind off things; she knew that ignoring your problems was no way to fix them but she didn't care. She needed to be distracted from her pain.

She went to her stack of CDs and ultimately chose her Counting Crows CD; she put it in the CD player and hit play. The first track to come on was her favorite, the song "Colorblind."

"I am colorblind"

Leslie closed her eyes, spread out her scar covered arms and began to spin, ever so slowly.

"Coffee black and egg white."

Her memories began to pollute her mind; causing an unimaginable pain to flood through her body.

"Pull me out from inside."

The lyrics were her world; they described how she felt eerily. She wished she could be pulled out of her mind so she could be free. Free of her past, free of everything.

"I am ready, I am ready I am…taffy stocked and tongue tied."

Again the lyrics described her; she was ready to tell Jess everything, but every time she tried she wouldn't say anything, she was tongue tied inside her head.

"Stutter shook and uptight."

Another perfect description of her; every time Jess would mention it she would get uptight and stutter "I don't want to talk about it." She felt pathetic.

"Pull me out from inside."

She had a different feeling at the repeat of the lyric, she didn't want to be pulled from her memories; she wanted to be pulled from her world. In short, she wanted to die.

"I am ready, I am ready, I am ready, I am…fine."

She knew one thing, she was ready to die, but she was anything but fine with it. She wanted to live, she wanted to live with Jesse in an big house with a huge field, with kids and a dog, and all sorts of things. But she knew that would never happen, that would make her happy and she never stayed happy for long. Her time at Lark Creek with Jesse had been by far the longest time she had ever been happy, and to think, that was little over a year. It seemed like a lifetime to Leslie.

"I am colored, skin."

Leslie knew what that lyric meant. It wasn't about race, it was about what you allow a person to see; your colored skin.

"No one gets to come in."

Her again. The song was reading her like a book, she knew what that lyric meant. She did it all the time, it meant no one got inside your head, and Leslie was an expert at that. She wouldn't let anybody inside her head not Bill not Judy, not her therapist. The only person that got close was Jesse, her Jesse.

"Pull me out from inside."

She wished that lyric would stop repeating, it reminded her how much she wanted death, and how much she didn't.

"I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding. I am… colorblind."

She noticed how the singer said the last word weakly, just like her. She was weak, to let something as silly as her demons bother her this much. Shame overtook her, Jess was being strong, and she was being weak, she hated herself for her weakness.

"Coffee black and egg white."

The lyrics repeated she loved the analogy the artist made; it was like an analogy of her. She was purely, and simply, a black and white person, nothing special, nothing interesting, nothing to be missed.

"Pull me out from inside."

Again she thought of her death, she wondered if she would be lucky enough to die quickly. She doubted it, luck never went her way. They say suicides go to hell but Leslie didn't care, if anything she deserved it, for all that she'd done.

"I am ready, I am ready, I am ready, I am, fine."

Leslie listened to the beautiful melody that followed; it was a truly beautiful melody. Unlike her, who was ugly as The White Witch.

"I am, Fine."

Another round of a beautiful melody flowed that lyric which caused Leslie to spin even more, lost in her own world, where she was safe. Safe and secure, unlike how she was in the outside world.

"I am, fine."

The song ended and Leslie fell back onto her bed, the knife bounced onto the floor. That knife, if she had the courage to cut deep enough it would set her free. Free of pain free of hurt, free of… memories. Her horrid memories that plagued her sleep. She would be gladly free of those.

The song began again and she listened to it as she drifted back into her memories of pain.

She remembered it clear as day…

"Come on now sweetie its ok I want you to dance for me, can you dance for me sweetie pie?"

Leslie shot up, she would not, could not remember that. She wouldn't allow herself too, ever. Certain things she could cope with but she knew that wasn't one of them.

Then again she had never been able to cope with anything related to that house in Ohio.

Saturday November 22nd 11:11 am

Jesse Sr. felt extremely guilty as he sat in front of the tube. He felt as if his sons reaction at breakfast was somehow his fault, he always suspected his son hated him but was never entirely sure. Until now.

He wondered if he pressured the boy to much, but then again he did everything to Jess as his father did to him, and he turned out all right, or so he told himself.

Jesse sr. stared down at the bottle of Whiskey in his hand, over the years he had become dependent on it to make his troubles go away or at least numb them. Now he was faced with something that alcohol couldn't help, or numb, his only son was blind. His only apparent hope lied in an middle eastern doctor that Jesse Sr. barely knew.

He remembered having his hope for his son be crushed when the doctor told him the amount, there was no way in hell Jesse Sr. could raise that much money in such a short period of time. He also remembered saying that he could afford a corneal transplant something that would get his son new eyes from a donor. But Dr. Mavien had said the problem wasn't with his eyes it was his brain, something about how a nerve ending was damaged when he hit his head, and that if they could mend it before the first week of December, that Jess had a chance to regain his eyesight.

Alas, Jesse Sr. had no way to raise the money in that amount of time, he, his Wife and daughter Ellie had all pulled their money together and even some from the "Rainy Day" fund. The total was a little over thirty-nine-hundred dollars. Unless he won the lottery with a ticket he got for free to get the seventy-five thousand dollars needed.

In short Jess was screwed.

The phone rang he stretched to get it, he pressed the talk button and put it to his ear, "hello?" He asked, his voice hoarse.

"Mr. Aarons?"

"Hello, who is this?" Jesse Sr. could have sworn he heard the voice before.

"Its Bill Burke, Mr. Aarons."

"Oh, Bill, hello, err…how are you?" The Burkes and the Aarons relationships were strained to say the least, Jesse Sr. was not particurly happy with his son spending all his time with a girl.

"I'm just fine Mr. Aarons, but I was wondering if maybe we could talk, alone?"

"Uhh sure when?"

"Now if its convenient, I'd prefer to talk in private."

"Uhh yeah sure, I mean yes its convenient. Where do ya wanna meet?"

"Umm I don't think either of our houses would do, how about your greenhouse? Its very serious." The voice on the line was stern, and yet rather sad.

"Greenhouse? Sure that's fine." Jesse Sr. said, he was a little less then fine with them using the greenhouse, but he was going to be polite since Bill was asking to speak with him, rather then just barging in.

"Alright ill meet you there. Is it ok if I drop Leslie off with Jess?"

"Yeah that's fine," Jesse Sr. was starting to wonder if he was going to be able to make any decisions on where this was going.

He slipped on his boots and called up the stair's, "Jess Leslie's comin, come on down." He cringed at the last word., he didn't know if his son could make it down safely or not.

There was a long pause before the door opened and Jesse Jr. appeared on the landing; glasses on cane in hand, he looked just like the blind kids you saw on TV.

He came down the stair's with ease, whilst holding the railing he walked past his father and felt his way to the door. Jesse Sr. was eager to help his son but was rooted to the spot, amazed that his son could adapt so quick to his blindness.

Jesse Sr. finally recovering followed his son out and found him on the porch, waiting patiently. Jesse Sr. saw in the distance the usually smiling burke girl walking slowly with her father and dog; she wore a black shirt with a silver eagle like creature on it a plain white T-Shirt underneath with arm bands(or socks he didn't know which) that were black and white stripped. Her face seemed off as if it were someplace else, Bill Burke however was dressed in an normal Polo shirt, but kept throwing side glances at his daughter.

They approached and Leslie greeted Jess who's face instantly lit up with joy, Leslie took him by the hand and they walked briskly towards the road with the dog and out of sight.

"Umm, ready?" Bill asked timidly.

"Err, sure."

They walked into the greenhouse, Jesse Sr. leaned against the door frame while his neighbor sat on the bench. Bill ran his head through his wavy hair and spoke very surely but still polite.

"Mr. Aarons, me and Judy have discussed it and… we were wondering…no we were hoping…that you'd let us pay for Jesse's hospital bills."

Jesse Sr.'s face went from one to curiosity to one of anger, "what are you saying here Burke? Are you trying to offer me charity?" He was furious now.

The thing was he didn't what he was more furious about the fact that he himself couldn't pay the bills himself while the Burkes could easily, or that the fact that his neighbor kindly offered.

"No Mr. Aarons I assure you I am not trying to offend or offer anyone charity. I am very fond of Jess, as is Judy, and of course Leslie, she adores Jess."

"Then what are you trying to do? Besides take pity on me and my family?"

"I'm not taking pity Mr. Aarons I'm trying to help your only son. Maybe if you got your head out of the clouds you'd see that." The shock was evident on Jesse Sr.'s face; Jess didn't tell Bill about Mr. Aarons popular saying but Leslie did, and Jesse Sr. did not like it being used against him.

The two stared each other down, shooting daggers at each other. "If your going to be like that Burke, you might as well leave." Jesse Sr. motioned to the door to the greenhouse.

Bill sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Mr. Aarons, please, let me help, it's the least I could do after all Jess has done for Leslie." Bill said, his temper dampened.

"Oh really? What's he done for her?" Jesse Sr. said sarcastically.

Bill's temper again flared, but he decided to take a different approach, rather then just cuss the mechanic out. He spoke surely and clearly so his neighbor would hear every word, "he stopped her from cutting herself."

All the color drained from Jesse Sr.'s face, he felt like he just got punched in the gut.

"Excuse me?" He said, at a loss for words.

"You heard me." Bill said sternly.

Jesse Sr. was silent for a long time before asking, "my god, why?"

Bill sighed, this was something he didn't want to say, but remembering the visitor that would be coming later he figured it would be good to tell another adult, besides Leslie was bound to tell Jess eventually.

Despite this reasoning Bill didn't want to repeat what had happened, but he knew he'd be forced too eventually so he decided to tell the mechanic despite how painful it would be for him. Bill was ominously silent for almost five minutes before speaking:

"You may want to sit down Mr. Aarons."

Saturday November 21st 11:30 am

Jess and Leslie made there way carefully across the small log with P.T. trailing behind them, the air was crisp and cold well below fifty, it would be even colder at night.

They made their way through the woods and past the truck, Leslie was deeply regretting wearing such thin clothing, eventually they made it to their castle stronghold, which they worked up.

They spent hours on end fighting Squogers and Hairy Vultures, escaping reality and their problems, sure it was just for a few hours, but that time was bliss to them.

Around Five-Thirty the two youth's were sitting in the tree house; breathless, the cold, raspy, air had had an damaging effect on their lungs, making their throats ache and sore, but they could hardly care.

Leslie's hand intertwined with Jesse's as she laid her head on his shoulder, he tensed up a bit but not much. "I never want this day to end," Leslie said dreamily, she was at peace with Jess. He wasn't asking questions and they weren't at each other houses getting worried looks from Leslie's parents or saddened looks from Jess's. In Terabithia, all was calm, all was right.

"I know what you mean," Jess said in an distant voice, something was bothering him and Leslie knew it.

"What's wrong?" she asked in her angelic voice. _God I'm such a hypocrite!_ She thought as she looked into the face of her best friend.

Jess sighed heavily.

That could only mean one thing.

"Jess," Leslie said her hand cupping his cheek and making his eyes meet hers, "what'd he do this time?" Leslie said they both knew who was the cause of Jess's current emotional turmoil, but what that turmoil was, Leslie didn't know.

Jess sighed again, through his nose, in a tired emotionally pained voice he spoke three simple words that meant so much to the twelve year old. "He don't care."

Leslie's heart practically broke, "Oh Jess," she said rubbing his cheek with her thumb before pulling him into an embrace. He held onto her tight and let the tears fall, after a while Jess was able to recover and wiped his nose and apologized for his tears in which Leslie said not too.

When Jesse returned to normal he slowly began to tell more, "he don't care Les, all he cares about is that I can't do my chores anymore. That's all he cares about." More tears fell but he didn't sob.

Leslie put her arm around him, "screw him Jess, I care about you."

Jess let more tears fall and then rested his head against her neck, "I care about you too. So, so much."

Leslie's heart sang at his words and just held him closer, she loved holding him and she loved how he was returning the embrace as well.

They were silent for a long time and as Leslie's euphoria faded she began to worry that Jess was gong to ask her again. Minutes felt like hours to her as she waited for the inevitable question.

Jess did indeed ask, but the question was one that took Leslie by surprise.

"You ever thought about running away?"

"What?" Leslie asked exasperated, had he said what she thought he said?

"You know…" he trailed off giving a little shrug. "You ever thought about running away?"

"No," Leslie said truthfully.

Jess was silent for a few moments before continuing, "would you ever…you know…run away?"

"Umm, I don't know," Leslie wasn't sure how to answer Jess, but she knew she wasn't going to let him run away.

Jess was again silent so Leslie asked him, "have you?"

He gave another half-hearted shrug, "sometimes, yes."

Leslie sighed, "come on Jess if you do that then that lets your father win. Don't let him Jess. Don't." she expressed the last word with the same urgency that she used when she went for help after he fell into the river.

Jess was again silent for awhile before continuing, "its just you know…hard. I feel like I won't be missed…I don't know, I'm being stupid."

"Your not stupid Jess, your just hurt, your dads being a real jerk, don't let him get to you your better then that."

Jess gave a small smile at Leslie words, "and for the record…" she continued. "_I _would miss you." She said using the same words her therapist had over the years.

Jess smiled even brighter, "really?"

"Yes Jess. I'd miss you terribly and if you ran away I'd be heartbroken." Now she was using blackmail, she knew Jess would never hurt her and to use this against him would solidify his stay in Lark Creek.

"OK, ok, I won't go," he said looking crestfallen. "Besides, how far could I get? The only way I'd really get anywhere is if you came with me." There was a tone of hope in his voice that Leslie didn't miss.

"Jess," she said in a very motherly tone.

He sighed, "sorry."

She pulled him closer, "just think of it this way: your gonna be out of here in six years that's all you have to wait, that's all."

Six years? Jess thought, _six years of being blind in a house where your hated? No thanks._ "I'll try Les," it was the most honest answer he could give her. 

"Thank you," Leslie replied, glad she could put an end to a potential crises.

Jess was again silent she saw emotional pain in his features, Leslie felt sorry for him. In the year that they'd known each other Leslie had recovered from her previous state, and she had helped Jess too. But Jess never got out of his state he still got angry and was still frustrated, Leslie wish she could pull him out of it, but she knew she couldn't. the worst part was, she didn't know who could.

Saturday November 21st 12:30 pm

Jesse Sr. sat in front of the TV, his head spinning. He was just beginning to take in all that he learned with his discussion with his neighbor,_ my god, who could do something like that?_ he thought. He felt a great deal of pain and remorse, he hadn't exactly been the nicest person to Miss Leslie Burke, in fact he had on numerous occasions forbid Jess from seeing her. Now he felt like the biggest ass alive.

My god who could do that?

He knew one thing he would be a lot nicer when it came to Jess and Leslie seeing each other. It was the least he could do considering the Burkes were paying Jess's hospital bills.

Saturday November 21st 7:30 pm

Leslie sat on her back on the cold ground in Terabithia, she was content. She had helped Jesse today, she had done something good for Jess, who's life, Leslie thought had been hard enough without this handicap.

The wind was getting harsh now; they would have to be home soon it had to be thirty degrees.

Leslie picked herself up and walked back to the tree house where Jess was swinging on the swing with P.T. happily chasing him back and forth barking. Leslie sat and stared, Jess looked so happy, _and its because of me_, she thought to herself making something swell up inside her chest, something that made her feel wonderful. Was it love? Leslie didn't know, but she never wanted it to go away.

After staring for a full ten minutes Leslie approached him, "hey bonehead, we gotta go."

He pouted, "why?" He asked like a five year old.

Leslie put her hands on her hips but then remembering he couldn't see it put them down and felt bad. "Cause its cold," she said rubbing her arms.

Jess shivered, "yeah it is," he said, teeth chattering.

"Come on, we'll get some hot chocolate at your place," she said taking his hand.

"Kay," he said, teeth still chattering.

They made their way over the small branch over the creek and down the road, with P.T. yelping at their heals. Hands intertwined; they journeyed through the fields and up the dirt road to their respective houses.

Leslie was leading Jess while he guided his cane through the gravel, that was when Leslie noticed something odd: there was a pickup truck in her driveway. Who's Pick-up could it be? She knew it wasn't the Aarons it was a different model, it was newer and yet dirtier.

Leslie looked at it with a strange sense of déjà vu, where had she seen it before?

She didn't really care, so she walked past it and into her yard, let go of Jess's hand(reluctantly) picked up P.T. opened the door a crack and dropped him inside. As she shut the door, she heard the dogs frustrated barks and Bill's attempts to shush him.

Leslie ran back to Jesse, took his hand eagerly and took him to his house. They were almost inside when Jess said "wait."

Leslie looked at him confused, "why?"

"Les, I, I…" he was stuttering for a couple of seconds before taking a deep breath and saying slowly, "I don't think I can face him," he said ashamed.

"Jess…" Leslie said, her voice full of sorrow.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," she said pulling him into a hug. "Listen Jesse, I'm gonna go check in and then I'm gonna come back here so we can work on our homework, ok?"

Jess managed a half-smile, "ok."

She led him in, he found his way to the sofa and plumped himself down, May belle came into the room and sat next to Jesse and began popping questions. Leslie grinned at the sight and left without a word.

She walked down the dirt road and into her yard, _see Leslie today was fine you got to spend it with Jesse nothing went wrong_. Her previous thoughts from the morning seemed a lifetime away.

Beaming she walked into her house and said "hi," to Bill without bothering to look at him; or his guest.

"hi Leslie," the pair said in unison, Leslies back was turned so she could not see the stranger, she turned around gracefully and when she saw the second man were blood ran cold.

Oh god, oh God no, please God no.

There he was sitting at the table, her table, his big workers boots cascaded with mud, his brown cowboy hat, his big brown coat. It was just like Leslie remembered.

He smiled kindly, "hi Leslie, how are you?"

Leslie swallowed, twice. "Fine, you?" She didn't want to show her unease, especially in front of him.

"I've been good," he said nodding.

"Bill," she said turning attention to the man who was watching the reaction carefully. "I'm going to go help Jesse with his homework, ok?" Her voice was way to high.

He pasued then nodded, "sure Leslie."

Shed didn't need to be told twice she bolted up the staires and into her bedroom, she opend and closed the door leaning against it. "Shit," she said banging her head against it. "Shit, shit, shit, shit." She muttered the word over and over again as if it would erase the previous confrontation.

But she knew nothing would erase it, he was here, with Leslie, in the same house. She put her face in her hands, "Damnit," she cursed. She had to get out she knew that.

Then inspiration struck her.

Jess already wanted to runaway… and there was no way Leslie could stay in the house with Henderson in it… her mind was made up.

She and Jesse were running away.

Ok wow this chapter is long! Id like to thank my new reviewers and im sorry for my long absence and I hope this long chapter makes up for it. Not sure how often ill be able to post I have SATs this month and driving school along with Two Bridge fics pending, two twilgiht fics pending and one Jumper fic pending. Anyways I apologize for my absence and for the graphicness of this chapter I hope you all liked it and also on a further note I must recommend these two fics on here by percy55 The Greatest gift and The Phone Call, both are very good and highly recommended IHateSnakes has them on his favorites! Anyways hope you guys liked it also on a very good note the depression I have been in for nearly a year has started to evaporate, go me! Excse my weird behavior I have had a long night and its 1:41 am and I have SATs tomorrow. Night yall love ya!


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